Day 10: I Almost Jumped into the Ala Wai...But Then I Realized How Dumb that Sounded

GAHHHHH! 


I am confused right now because I have so many feels. I’m really stressed, as usual, of course. APs are looming ahead. I am getting by in Calc and I’m actually really on it in terms of getting things done and making sure that I study for the daily quizzes. But, no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get to that high of a level of performance which makes me nervous for the AP exam. 


In addition, we’ve started the actual practice test-taking in Spanish. We did the listening portion yesterday and the speaking portion today—my two weakest areas. I felt that the listening portion yesterday was brutal. And it was, judging from the score that I got back today. Native Spanish speakers, why you no enunciate your words??? The good thing is we get to do the writing yesterday—at which I think I am pretty good.


And then there’s biology. I’m still adjusting to Papa Jack’s style of teaching. And I have a lab critique, a research paper, and a cumulative course exam to worry about in the next several days. 


Gov and English are both can-dos. There’s just a lot of reading. I just need to do a thorough review before the AP test and a review of past FRQs and I think I’ll be fine. Same with English. I just need to review all of the books we have read over the year. And practice timed writing. LEGGO. 


I am also very pumped yet extremely nervous for States this weekend. I need to feel the thrill of risk-taking again. My speech sounds very polished but it lacks the spark, the passion, the level of care necessary to set myself apart from the other competitors. I need a flame underneath my behind because I need to GLOW on Saturday if I want to break. AND BY GOD I AM GOING TO FEEL IT. 


I’m in charge of tutoring this week. On the last Extended week of the year. BOOOO. Which means no pho fun times with Elvis. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.


Those chairs are still not finished…dayum.


I feel so conflicted because I want to commit myself to one strong emotion that can get me through the week but I don’t know with which to stick because they’re all such strong emotions. I need to get back to work because my dad says it’s imperative that I go to sleep at 10. (What is this effery?!) 


Risks: 18 
Hugs: 4 
Current food cravings/obsessions: ……………. 
Playlist(s) on Repeat: “Sunny Days on End” and “The Adventure”