LAST DAY OF BEDA! Also, this was the very first time that I officially completed 30 days of consecutive blogging--no days missed, no late posts, no make-up blogs, no shameful days of shame! Cyber high-fives all around? OH YEAH.
Unfortunately, and also ironically, this was Kendall's first time with an incomplete legit BEDA. But we have to take his ONE MINUTE tardiness into serious consideration, guys. A mere 60 seconds doesn't retract from the fact that in all of the past three months of BEDA (August 2010, April 2011, and August 2011), he has done every single one perfectly. Plus, the reason why he missed the midnight deadline was because he was busy working the final (and, thus, the most unpopular) shift at the Family Fair, a selfless act of service and general awesomeness. Come on guys, really. No more rotten tomatoes.
Anyway, to end BEDA, I've written a letter for Future Jen's enjoyment on April 30, 2013.
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Dear Future Jen,
Hello there, Future Jen! I, the exactly-one-year-younger-version
of you wrote this letter for…you, of course! Getting a letter from yourself must feel so surreal. I would not know the feeling because Past Jen has
never written to me before. But I think we are scheduled to open our Cano
Letters one day, later on this month, after school. I vaguely remember making
sure that my ninth grade Cano Letter, to be opened about three years later,
sounded…um…comforting. Because that’s what Jen wants when she opens a letter
from the past, right? Good old warm and
fuzzy comfort. Then I got to thinking: is that a pessimistic thing to write in
a letter to my future self? See, I expected that my future self will be in a bad place
when she reads my letter, and so I make sure to include loving words and caring
sentiments. That does sound
pessimistic. Well, we shall have none of that sapping business here. No siree.
So let’s start over and make sure that this is a letter that will surely bring
you a smile, lots of love, and high levels of awesomeness not because I think you need it but because
I think that you deserve it! REWIND!
Hello there, Future Jen! My name is
Past Jen. You probably think about me, or where I come from, a lot. Or maybe
not, that’s cool, too.
I just wanted to know how you were
doing! I hope all is well with you: acing all those classes you’re taking in
UH, reading all those books for which you never had the free time in ‘Iolani,
sleeping and napping like a panda whenever you can (which happens often, I expect),
enjoying food as usual, working and earning your own money, and, of course,
taking risks!
Have you taken one lately? No, I’m
not talking about wearing a skirt to class—that is so Past Jen’s default wimpy
excuse of a risk! You’re Future Jen now and you’re in college. If you have, then good for you, you may proceed. I demand that
you go and take a healthy risk that will help you grow RIGHT THIS INSTANT,
YOUNG LADY. Do not proceed, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Go take a risk. I’m serious. You can’t read the rest of this letter without a new
risk under your belt. So do it. Just jump. Then you can come back and read the
rest of my missive.
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Have you done it? Nope? Seriously, go
and take a risk. Past Jen does not joke. She is less giggly than you are now,
probably, and has the tendency to be quite violent what with all the slapping
and the punching she does. Go take a risk, love. This is Past Jen’s way of
giving Future Jen a gift she’ll surely appreciate.
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Congratulations! You now have
another risk on your countdown (unless you don’t count them on here
anymore...). Change the number and then write about it later on this week, or
whenever you feel like it. Right, so, back to my letter.
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Anyway, right now, on April 30, 2012,
I am a bit scared and stressed for my upcoming AP exams next week and the week
after that. Not “I’m going to die because of all this stress” kind of stress,
no. I think this is what they call a “healthy stress”—it is the pressure that
you get when you realize and understand what is at stake. And when you realize
and understand exactly what is at stake, you perform your best. Over and
over again, I’m also chanting in my head, “YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU CAN DO THIS.
YOU CAN DO THIS.”
I have Spanish next week Tuesday,
Calculus AB the day after, and then English that Thursday. And then the week
after that, on Monday, I have Biology and, finally, Government on Tuesday. And
then I will be done! That is probably the very thing keeping me going: the fact
that I can practically see, feel, taste, smell, and hear the end. I can see the
finish line. I can feel the pressure and the anticipation. I can taste the
imminent satisfaction. I can smell the aroma of sweet-scented victory. I can
hear the roaring of proud and wild spectators. This is it! It’s coming!
Underneath all of the excitement, I
am also quite scared. This is new territory right here. This is the biggest
change that I will have to undergo in my entire young adult life. So, Future
Jen, tell me, or at least really think about these questions: Was it worth it?
Was everything worth it? Is the life you live now all that you had ever dreamed
of and/or expected it would be? And, of course, I have to ask you some
questions that you should always be asking yourself, no matter what.
Are you…
… helping people whenever you can?
… making and learning from your
mistakes?
…creating moments for yourself and
for others?
…making magic, as in stopping yourself
from growing up every chance you get, and always acting like a kid, just
bigger?
…constantly thinking about how lucky
you are to be alive, to be where you are right here and now?
…setting and achieving higher goals
for yourself, constantly moving upward and forward?
…challenging yourself in every way
possible?
…taking a break for yourself now and
then?
…surrounding yourself with great
amazing people who love you, care for you, inspire you, and help you grow and
mature into the person you would like to be?
…parsing, kneading and coloring the
words that you have always loved, pushing them to their highest potentials and
showcasing their beauty and power to the world?
…doing the small things that you
know always have a bigger impact?
…always exceeding others’, as well
as your, expectations?
…balancing all of your priorities to
the best of your ability?
…being good, doing good, and feeling
good?
…giving and receiving heartwarming
hugs?
These are things to ponder always,
Future Jen. So many things! Asses and adjust, Future Jen! Like the chant that’s
going on non-stop in my head right now keeps telling me, I say to you, “YOU CAN DO THIS!”
I believe in you. I always have. I believe in who you are and your capabilities. I believe in what you will become and what you do to get yourself there. And
I think that has been the thing that has helped me transform from me to you,
over and over again, all these years, you know? Even with all of the love and
support that you always get from your friends and family, of which you should
be very thankful, by the way, none of it would have gotten us where we are now
if it were not for me believing in you and you believing in me.
You always choose so always choose happiness. Leave your mark on this world: touch and help shape those clay-hearts. You
have always read books for the characters, not for the plot, so do the same with
life. Always be on the lookout for red moleskin notebooks and other adventures.
Sing as loudly as you want and don't be afraid. Laugh at some clever wordplay and
puns on Tumblr (still addicted?). Immerse yourself in your playlists. Slytherin
pride all the way. French all the llamas. Put things on your head. No
swoodilypooping. Decrease world suck and increase awesome. Write postcards and
love letters to the world. Send some good karma out there. Smile—you don’t have
braces anymore! Leave imprints of yourself on the pages of your world. Get on a roller coaster that only goes up, my friend, and stay on it.
I hope all is well and that
everyone’s one-year-older versions are doing great. Tell everyone I said hi.
Now go and have something to eat because food will always, always, love you back.
FTBAYS (Forget to Be Awesome, You
Shan’t),
Past Jen&Berrs
P.S. NBA Playoffs? Huh?
P.P.S. Hi. Ok, bye. For reals, this time.
P.P.S. Hi. Ok, bye. For reals, this time.
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Well, this has certainly been fun. Another adventure done! So much studying for the past six hours. I read four chapters of Bio (test toms) and did a MC Part A practice for Calc. And I still have to do Gov reading/studying in the morning. Aiyo! Go, go, go, Jen. Anyway, toodles guys. Until next week (we're going back to BEWTY), my pretties, BEST WISHES!!!
Risks: 18
Hugs: 2 (both from Kirsten!)
Current food cravings/obsessions: grainy artisan chips
Playlist(s) on repeat: "THIS"
