I woke up today at around 9:30 after having gone to sleep at around 2 because 1) Josh and I waited for the 11pm showing of the newest Doctor Who episode which, by the way, wasn't all that, and 2) I couldn't sleep after.
The first thing that I did, for some reason, was reach for my phone and check Instagram. I usually don't do this, but I did this morning. And I was just scrolling down, liking the pictures of food and artsy edits that I always tend to like and then I saw it. It was a picture that someone had posted at around 1am last night of plastic drinking cups, all inserted into the holes of a chain link fence, city lights in the background. And the cups spelled out the word "POOP."
I immediately recognized the plastic cups, the chain-link fence, and the cityscape right behind it. It was the plastic cup display that Ashley, Rebecca, and I had set up on Wednesday night. Except when we had put it up, when we painstakingly inserted each and every single cup into each hole of that fence until 11:30pm that night, we had spelled out "HOPE" as part of the Relay for Life display.
Really.
REALLY.
The immaturity that was so apparent in the picture and the implications behind it were so devastatingly disappointing to me. I immediately sent out a text message to everyone I knew who lived in the dorms to let them know and to ask someone, anyone, to fix it or at least take it down before everyone who lived on campus woke up. It was still before 10am, well before a majority of the dormers would even think about getting up on a Sunday morning, but still, it wasn't that early to thnk reasonably that no one has seen it.
And I have to admit that I really had myself a good cry in the shower.
Recently, someone told me that my most important strength is probably the fact that I care so much about what I do. About everything that I do. Whether it be my school work, my extracurricular activities and responsibilities, reading, listening to music, hanging out with friends, watching movies, and so much more--I make my enthusiasm and passion for people, for causes, for activities, for simple objects, show through my work and actions.
I've always been drawn to these kinds of people--people with spirit, people whose eyes light up when you ask them about something they absolutely adore, people who cannot help but pass on their enthusiasm for something that they want to share with others, people who love their jobs, people who get goosebumps when they start talking about something they love and realize that someone else understands, people who gets so excited about event the simplest things and they don't care what others think about them because they are just so excited.
This is why I love teachers who are nerds for their subjects. This is why I love watching Chopped and Project Runway where I watch people in their elements. They are so in love with their jobs and believe that what they do is an artform, so much so that they will do anything to be the best in what they do. This is why I like going to my dentist because he just gets so excited by my teeth that it's not even disturbing anymore. This is why I love my nerdiest and geekiest friends the most.
These are the kind of people I love because this is the kind of person that I think I am. I care so much about and love and believe so deeply in the things that I do that I always, without fail, can guarantee nothing less than my very best.
The things is that the same person who mentioned this being a strength for me also pointed out that this is also my greatest weakness. I care so much that when things don't go well, I tend to get hurt. I believe so much in the things that I do that when I end up working with others who don't really care as much, I tend to stress out about things and end up doing most of the work myself. I love so many things that when people don't have a care whether they hurt others or not through their words or their actions, it breaks my heart.
And what makes it worse is that I don't think it's fair. My mom tried telling me this morning that I shouldn't expect for everyone to be like me, and I know that, but it's not something that's easy to just accept and deal with, you know? I know that there are different types of people in this world--there are those who care and those who are apathetic, and usually, I'd make a case against those who are apathetic, but when I realize that there is something worse to be, which is to be someone who neither cares nor is apathetic but instead seeks to snuff all that is beautiful and hopeful and caring and wonderful on this earth, it seems that apathy isn't so bad in comparison. But then again, I know that there are probably only a handful of these "worse than apathetic" types in all of history. And I am certain that whoever changed the HOPE sign last night was not one of them--they were probably just drunk college students who didn't know or care about their actions' consequences.
And all of this kinda makes me start to believe that there is one thing more realistic than wishing everyone was enthusiastic and passionate about whatever it is they want to be passionate and enthusiastic about: wishing and hoping that each person would think about their fellow man.
Yes, I still value spirit, but there are times when passion for the wrong things is definitely not good. Like, how Hitler had a passion for genocide. But then again, he had a passion for art as well which he was not able to pursue in school because art school rejected him...and so he turned into the leader that he was.......okay, so not the best example, but I think we can all agree that passion for the wrong and immoral is bad. But even if only half of the world was passionate, but the entire world were to understand that we are all alike despite all of our differences, that we all have feelings and dreams just like everyone else, that our actions have effects on others, good and bad and everything in between, and that all we need to do is THINK, to JUST THINK before we do or say anything, then I think our world would be better off.
And then we wouldn't be worrying about anyone--not even drunk college students walking back to the dorms after partying all night--changing a simple plastic cup and fence display that spells out something that I know, no matter how different we may be, every single person holds dear in their hearts to a word for something that I know none of us would even dare touch.
The good news is that each time I lose my faith in humanity, something always seems to happen to ensure that I regain it. The picture was posted after midnight last night, I sent a text to the committee at around 9:30am, and the first person to awaken and go down to the site sent me a text at around 10:30am to tell me that it had already been changed back to "HOPE" when she got there.
So thank you anonymous plastic cup display fixer. Thank you for thinking about how your action of fixing our display would benefit others. Thank you for caring enough to actually do something. Thank you for representing and giving me the very word that you decided to put back onto the fence--HOPE.
Risks: 44
Books Read: 8
Thank You Notes Written: 13
Caffeinated Drinks Consumed So Far in April: 7
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