All right, I've got to write my final paper for British Literature by midnight tonight. It's due tomorrow. So I'm toggling back and forth between this blog post and my paper. I still don't know what my paper's going to be about. Also, to make matters worse, I don't have all of my books with me so finding textual evidence will be difficult. Ope, wait . . .
GOOGLE BOOKS. Okay, I just saved The Mayor of Casterbridge eBook on my Google Library so I'm set for some Hardy paper action. I've got a hardcopy of Pygmalion/Piggy with me. Now, what will my third Brit Lit work be? Ahh, whatever it is, it will be a poem . . .
Okay, this toggling thing is not working so I am just going to finish this blog post and be done with it once and for all and make sure that every fiber of my being after I post is focused on getting this final paper done. So, before I actually dive in, how about a recap of my week?
This week's highlights and notes:
Monday: Lunch with Mrs. Nagao! She made chili/omelette/burrito/heavenly stuff for us and I baked cookies and Shann bought huge Powerades. Great food with great people equal(s?) happines. I just wish that lour unch period was longer.
Tuesday: Um. Nothing?
Wednesday: Wow. Nothing again! Huh. I have a boring life now.
Thursday: Big Brother/Big Sister Pizza Party! I won't see my little brother Kei until next year! :( But the party was fun. We signed our memory books and ate pizza. Kei was relieved to find out that I wasn't graduating and that I'll still see him next year.
Friday:
1) They made the announcement for our S&D coach next year!
2) (Supposed to be) Mane reception! (but)
3) Wassail attack! So I drank some wassail for the first time in Brit Lit on Friday and I reacted to it pretty badly. At first, the drink made me super jittery. My heart was palpitating and I had goosebumps all over my body. I felt super sick over lunch and I didn't feel like eating so I just swallowed a couple of slices of cantaloupe and grapes. I really wasn't feeling well by period 6 so I took a nap in the library. When Kendall woke me up (he was "using the bathroom"--he was supposed to be in Chemistry class), I felt really awful. I didn't even wanna do anything anymore and I could feel myself starting to burn up. I went to see the nurse the next period and it turns out that all the wassail sugars may have been too much for me. She checked my pulse and confirmed that it was faster than it's supposed to be for someone my age. And the fact that I just ate fruits for lunch didn't really help. So the nurse gave me permission to use the school elevators, banned me from any more caffeine the whole weekend, and then told me to drink lots and lots of water. I had a fever after school (so I didn't even want to go to the Mane thing anymore) and my whole body hurt. I went to sleep at 7:30 and then woke up at 8:30-ish the next morning. But I feel better now.
All right, I'm ready for the purpose of this blog post.
I went to see the 'Iolani Stage Bands perform tonight. It was their last concert of the year and it was at Hawaii Theater. Anyway, as I listened to the University of Texas at Arlington jazz faculty combo, I stared at the members of Stage Band 3 as they stared at the guest musicians. And I found myself thinking about names. I actually wrote this blog post in my head during the UTA musicians' numbers but my thought process was very unorganized and random and out of the purple. So here's an attempt to make sense of it all.
I don't know everyone in the three stage bands but I do know at least a good third of them and maybe I just know of a good majority of the rest. Those whom I didn't know weren't necessarily "unnamed" in my head, though. No, I knew these people, in my head, as "drum guy" or "high-pitch voiced girl" or "guy with really good hair," you know. I know them by "nicknames" that only make sense to me because I made them up myself. But some of the nicknames don't really match. For example, I may know so-and-so as "soccer girl" but she plays the guitar in stage band. Or I may know someone as "guy who carries around his trumpet everywhere" but he actually plays the piano in the band. The nicknames that we use to brand or remember people in our heads are all misleading because, well, because no one is or can ever be defined so narrowly by a single trait or associated activity.
Our names are the first gifts that our parents give us. Well, okay, it's the second gift--the first one is the gift of life! But whether it's the first or second gift, it doesn't really matter. My point is that our given names are special. Our parents give us our names, but it is up to us to make them into names that we can be really proud to have.
If you think about it, the nicknames or labels that we let others make about us are only a small fraction of who we really are. To someone in my Precalc class, I could be "junior girl in the back who falls asleep sometimes." Or, to someone in my Spanish class, I could be "evil and bossy team leader/dictator." Or, to Dr. Webb, I could be "girl who hasn't turned in her final paper on time" pretty soon if I don't try to finish this blog post sooner. I am or may be all three of these things, but I don't think there is a single person who sees me in these three different lights at the same time.
Different people see different sides of us in different activities and classes. And, as a result, different people associate us with different things. I think it's a worthwhile goal to make sure that everyone around you, or at least everyone you care deeply about, is lucky enough to see your different sides, your different talents, your different beauties.
Our real names are more accurate than the nicknames that people create in their heads about us. Whereas the nicknames in people's heads only show a part of us, our full names can represent our very essence. Think about it? If you don't know someone, you recognize and/or refer to them as "that boy scout who carries a knife everywhere" or "girl with outrageously curly hair" or even "Love Nugget!" But once you get to know them much better, you're on a first name basis. And saying that first name out loud can taste like satisfaction or victory because just a coupe of weeks ago, you were calling this person "girl on crutches" or "apple-munching boy" in your head. And now you're using their name.
Hmmm, that didn't come out as smoothly as I wanted it. I felt like I needed to stop and delete when I started talking about that specific moment when that person you like-like says your name when talking to you. Getting off topic, Jen. So I should just end this here before I start blabbing about something totally irrelevant like purple pandas or lifeguards cheating on their girlfriends or something.
Today......
I really loved...jazz.
I smiled because... it felt good to blog again for what seemed like a super long time.
Lyrics playing at this very moment as I type this portion of the blog:
"Honest, promise, you will be missed..."
(Long and Lonely Road by Hawk Nelson)
Hours of sleep last night: 7-ish
Friend of the day: Shaw, Hardy and some British poet...
--Jen :)
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