Familial LessThanThree

It's story time!

Eight years ago, on this very day, May 15th, 2003, my family left the Philippines and moved here to Hawaii. My parents, Sonny and Jossefin, Shayne (10), Josh (6  going on 7), and I (9) embraced life here in the United States, more or less. It's been a pretty rough ride. But it's not hard to believe that we've been through because I've always had this confidence in my family.

We stayed with my mom's siblings at first. A total of twelve people lived in a small three-bedroom apartment in Kalihi that first month. But I seriously don't remember anyone ever complaining. The place was already stuffy in the first place, what with my mom's older brother, sister, two more sisters with their husbands and, in one case, a son (that's seven people, for those of you not counting) already settled in there. The addition of five more people made things . . . cozier. We moved out, along with one of my mom's sisters and her brother (both unmarried) around the end of May, I think, and we moved into another apartment just a couple of blocks away.

English wasn't a problem for us. Mom used to be a Physics professor at the state university (we lived in the campus my whole childhood) and Dad was an electrical engineer at an oil company in Manila, so they understood and spoke English. Shayne, Josh and I had attended a Catholic private school and we were required to speak English in the classroom when learning English subjects. But Josh had the hardest time because he had just completed first grade when we moved, not enough time to ingrain the language in his tongue. But he learned really quickly. To this day, our family (aunts and uncles included) still laughs over the stories of his made up English words and phrases during the first several weeks of living here in Hawaii. Josh just covers his red face and smiles.

We started school at the end of July that year--Josh in second grade, me in fourth, and Shayne in fifth. I'm still really not sure what and how I felt on the first day of school. My dad dropped me off for homeroom that morning and I remember him giving my shoulder a squeeze before leaving. I was silent the whole day (which led to my classmates thinking that I didn't know English--they were surprised the first time I said something in class and I didn't have an accent!), mostly because everything around me was so new and different that I just had to process everything silently. No one was mean, I remember that, but only a couple or so were especially nice. And I was lucky enough to have a sweet teacher, Mrs. Yasui. In the Philippines, we were required to address our teachers using "ma'am" or "sir." I still remember Mrs. Yasui's face when I had attached the word "ma'am" at the end of a sentence as I was speaking to her. Her eyes widened a little and then she smiled, her eyes crinkling at the edges with both surprise and flattery. "No, no," she shook her head, "You don't have to call me that. Just 'Mrs. Yasui' is fine, Jen."

I've always loved school, and my parents stressed the importance of education from the very beginning. And that led me to excel in school in the Philippines. But after the big move, I didn't even think of the new environment affecting my performance, my abilities, my work ethic, and/or my drive, in any way. School is school, you know, wherever you are and whoever you may be. So I did my best. I remember when we took the aptitude test for our math class placements, I had done well. But because I was an immigrant, they placed me in the ESL (English as a Second Language) math class. The teachers moved me to the advanced math class after only a month. At the end of the year, I decided to run for Student Government President for the next school year. And my mom did something for the very first time: she discouraged me. I remember her telling me softly, "Kasangsangpet mo lang, anakko." You just arrived here, my child. She didn't think I would win because I was just the new girl, not only new to the school, but new to the country as well. But I insisted and she helped me with my speech. And I won. She had never told me that I couldn't do anything before that, and she never did again. 

We settled into our new lives and we developed routines. Job hunting was hard for my parents at first. They worked at restaurants for a while. Then my mom taught at the community college, at the University of Hawai'i (not as a teacher though, but as a clerk), and she was even a statistician at the Department of Agriculture. Eventually, she landed a Physics position in McKinley. And I think they love her there. After working only a couple weeks of restaurant jobs, my dad almost immediately signed up for the army after we moved here. In the Philippines, we were used to seeing Dad only on the weekends because he worked in the city. On Friday nights, after work, he would get on a bus and head north toward us. I remember waking up early on Saturday mornings in order to wait for him at the gate. Some Saturday mornings, I would just wake up and he would already be home. Then, on Sunday nights, he would kiss us goodbye and get on the bus headed toward Manila again. I had never felt sadness in saying goodbye during those Sunday nights, or even shed a single tear, mostly because I knew Dad was leaving to work where the real money was just so we could live the way we did back then. But when he left for Iraq, despite the fact that I knew that he was leaving because he loved all of us, I had never felt so sad in my life. His phone calls were limited and occasional. My mom started watching the news intently every day. The first Christmas without him was the hardest. When he finally came home, he was a bit skinnier, but he was stronger. And when he left for Iraq again after that, I cried. I cried every single time that he left. I think my father's time in the army affected all of us in different ways. But when he told us that he was coming back for good, we were all equally happy. He worked in the mainland here and there as an engineer after completing his contract because those were the only engineer jobs that were open, I think. But when an opening showed up here in Hawaii, he jumped on it and he's been with us since then.

We bought a house of our own when I was in 7th grade. That was a big marker of our lives. Then Shayne's acceptance into 'Iolani as a 9th grader was also another marker. "That part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail." (John Green) This quote is taken totally out of context, but it works well here. Individually, you can look at all the things I've done, or what Shayne's done, or Josh, or my dad, or my mom. But if you look at what we've all accomplished and done, we really cannot fail in any way.

That's what's great about family. Family will always love you, will always be there for you, no matter what. And sometimes, that may only be because, well, because you're family. But in the end, it's something bigger. We don't love each other just because we're family. We love each other because, really, who else is there to love in this unconditional and irreplaceable way? It sounds terrible at first but if you think about it, the love that you have for your parents and your siblings, your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, the love that you have for your whole family? That kind of love is the only love that makes perfect sense in this world, right from when you are born. You don't question it, you don't have to search for it, you don't puzzle over it, you don't measure it in any way. It's just there and it's there to stay and grow no matter what life throws at you.

Today......

I really loved... expecting myself to feel the impact every time Lady Fate threw "it" at my face this week...but smiling instead. Well, take that, Lady Fate as (Darren and) I sing: "Lady Fate, creating disaster--but [you] ain't the boss of me (or us?)!"

I smiled because... 

I saw this as someone's status on Facebook:

     Dear Jacob Black, 

     I noticed you drive a motorcycle and turn into a huge dog. How original.
    Sincerely,
    Sirius Black

Lyrics playing at this very moment as I type this portion of the blog:

"...So just take me as I am and push me, put me in my place..."

(Dancing With a Ghost by Valencia)

Hours of sleep last night: 10.5

Friends of the day: Kendall, Win, Kirsten Peterson, Aid, Tiff, Mrs. Ohira: It's finally [almost] over! Thank you all!

Times it got COLD today: None! 

As we close the school year and rapidly move toward summer vacation, we must all let go of some things. Sometimes, we have to let go of things that made us smile this year, like the unexpected (but greatly appreciated) cold days, freezing moments, cool breezy nights ("...cool breeze? Now you feel just right!"), and the air-conditioned comforts of school. I'm putting my jackets in the back of my closet, and they're there to stay, I think. This will be the last post in which I record the number of times the temperature dropped in one day.

--Jen :)