It's official. I like rap. There. I said it. Ok, to be fair, not all of rap. Just...some.
Spring break is over! Nooooo! SADFACES ALL AROUND. I kept telling people when break started that I wished I could just lie down and sleep for an entire week without waking up at all, and then wake up and have spring break. But no. Ask me how my break was and I'll say, "What break?"
Okay, okay, so it wasn't that bad. I definitely had a lot of stuff on my to-do list and I was constantly checking my email throughout the entire week and I had to be at specific places here and there every day and had to run errands and I didn't get to sleep in until Friday morning---BUT! There were good moments of "break time" throughout the week that I would not have gotten had we been still in school. For example, I got way more reading than usual done. But then again, I get, like, absolutely no reading in at all during regular school time, so that's not really saying much, but hey, give me a break. Literally. In addition, I actually went running for once. Legit running. And, okay, I only had time to go once the entire week...but that's one more time than I usually have the time for during regular school! I also watched some movies...which is always a good thing. Movies are a good thing, whether you really have time for them or if you're just procrastinating on something that you should be doing, because they make you better. Even the terrible ones. There was also quite a bit of just me on my phone, either just scrolling endlessly on Tumblr or updating and creeping on Facebook or editing and posting photos on Instagram or playing word games. And then there was the baking. And eating, of course. Who doesn't like eating?
Anyway, all in all, despite all of the stressful times, break was pretty good.
But I can't help but think that this is the calm before the storm, you know? You guys should see my Google calendar right now for April. I color-code a lot of my classes, assignments, and activities, so it's a rainbow-striped masterpiece. It's like Joseph's amazing technicolor dreamcoat...hehe. (I crack myself up, no?)
Why does April always have to be so busy and stressful and gah? I know why. Because it's BEDA(pril)! I like to think that some things exist at a specific time because that's when we need them the most. Like BEDA. This year, I am going to make an extra special effort so that BEDA(pril) will not be a chore. Instead, it will be an escape from all of the chores. It will be fun like always. It's been a while since we've BEDA'ed because August seems such a long time ago from where we stand now. Which I guess brings us back to the whole Letters thing again. I agree with Kendall wholeheartedly about still being the same person but in a different environment and under different circumstances. And these things really are what makes a person who they are. And it's also the people. We've been separated from the people we've spent our past four years with, people who have helped make us who we are. We now have new friends, new influential people in our lives, new mentors and teachers. And that's a good thing. It's just, I don't know. I want the Letters to be a confirmation, I guess, just because this past year has been so full of new things and uncertainty and just a bunch of stuff we aren't really used to so I feel like I've been second guessing everything and doing things half-blindly. And the Letters telling us that things are different now are one of the few things I'm sure of. So I want that to be true; I want something that I'm sure about to be true. If that even makes sense. It does in my head, so...yeah.
Okay, I gotta go figure out my registration schedule because I haven't gotten around to doing that yet...then maybe I can get some sleep?
BTDUBS, not in my dorm tonight. Going back tomorrow because...I really don't want break to end...
Risks: 44
Books Read: 8
Thank You Notes Written: 13 (Note: You need to write two more!)
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Better Get Some Friends
Hey guys!
Here I am again, in my dorm room.... It was actually super nice today, like, t-shirt and shorts weather. Like, what even is life? I don't understand. I'm excited to start a new quarter and school again while at the same time a little timid because I kind of have a lot of things in store for me this quarter. But then again, what would the last quarter be without a little added stress? Yeah, let's go with excited.
Anyway, this week didn't consist of that much excitement. Tumblr. School. Taco Bell. Plane. Prettiness. And some more food for good measure. It was a good spring break. I'm glad that I was able to spend it the way that I did.
So, for the whole letter topic, after reading what Jen had to say about it, I guess I want to clarify a little bit. It's not that I think that I changed, more that the things in my life have changed. The things around me have changed while I'm pretty sure that for the most part I've been the same, I've just been doing different things and surrounded by different things. I guess that is what changes people... But no, I did a lot of great stuff last year and I am extremely proud of who I was. Coming into college I knew that I wanted to bring that with me. And now that this much time has passed, I can kind of see that I may have lost a little of it, but I also have gained new things. And these new things plus the old ones equals double the awesome.
So, for the whole letter topic, after reading what Jen had to say about it, I guess I want to clarify a little bit. It's not that I think that I changed, more that the things in my life have changed. The things around me have changed while I'm pretty sure that for the most part I've been the same, I've just been doing different things and surrounded by different things. I guess that is what changes people... But no, I did a lot of great stuff last year and I am extremely proud of who I was. Coming into college I knew that I wanted to bring that with me. And now that this much time has passed, I can kind of see that I may have lost a little of it, but I also have gained new things. And these new things plus the old ones equals double the awesome.
Anyway, tomorrow marks the beginning of BEDA!!!! Get ready for that fun time...
Kay... BAI!
Books Read: 4
Why This Week Was Awesome: Miny March was a Success!!!
Song Stuck in My Head: Eh.
Song Stuck in My Head: Eh.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
This is the Song Nobody Sings
GAH. I ALMOSY FORGOT TO BLOG.
But I didn't...Javert would be proud of my memory skills.
Forgive the lame formatting, I was all settled to sleep and then I was like, "Wait a minute. Tomorrow is Monday. So that means...it's Sunday night! BEWTY?!?!?"
And here I am.
See, this is what being on break does to me.
This past week was the slowest week ever. Not only was it stressful, it was also emotionally taxing. I actually cried on Monday and Tuesday, and I came cripplingly close to breaking down in tears the rest of the week after that. It was just...there was a lot of stuff. And because I couldn't wait for spring break, the week went by excruciatingly slowly.
But in times like these, I realize how lucky I am to have amazing people in my life. Two friends gladly helped me with homework on a moment's notice because my "health and sanity are more important than any class," refused baked goodies as a thank you, and sent me links to One Direction Adventures videos just to remind me to smile and "not kill (my)self this week."
A friend randomly texted me to let me know that they miss me more than I miss them (which I still doubt!).
A friend Snapchatted me to prove that she can make funny faces, too.
Friends stayed up late with me many times this week.
And so much more. Thank you, thank you, and thank you.
Kendall mentioned the letters to ourselves that we wrote at the end of BEDApril last year in his post this week. I am glad to see that he is excited to read them simply because things are so different now. Are they though? For me, I guess things have changed in more ways than one. And some things have stayed the same. I think I am still very much the same person--still stressed and overly-analytical, still eager to change the world and to take risks, but still so very afraid of what's to come. Still filled with the sadness that sits in my bones but still finding myself on upward rollercoasters more often than not. Still Jen.
I kind of wonder if I have really changed over the past year, and if I have, have I changed for the better? I am also excited to read the letters, but mostly because I think I want to see if I have actually changed, if things have really changed. It isn't as clear to me as it is for Kendall.
So I guess we'll wait and see.
(Bottom tallies and reformatting to be done tomorrow....for now, more reading and then sleep!)
3/30/13, 6:21pm ADD-ON:
(...what a liar)
Risks: 44 (Taco-Adventure Night!)
Books Read: 8 (AND I AM UP TO DATE ON MY READING BLOG WHAT WHAT HUZZAH)
Thank You Notes Written: 11
But I didn't...Javert would be proud of my memory skills.
Forgive the lame formatting, I was all settled to sleep and then I was like, "Wait a minute. Tomorrow is Monday. So that means...it's Sunday night! BEWTY?!?!?"
And here I am.
See, this is what being on break does to me.
This past week was the slowest week ever. Not only was it stressful, it was also emotionally taxing. I actually cried on Monday and Tuesday, and I came cripplingly close to breaking down in tears the rest of the week after that. It was just...there was a lot of stuff. And because I couldn't wait for spring break, the week went by excruciatingly slowly.
But in times like these, I realize how lucky I am to have amazing people in my life. Two friends gladly helped me with homework on a moment's notice because my "health and sanity are more important than any class," refused baked goodies as a thank you, and sent me links to One Direction Adventures videos just to remind me to smile and "not kill (my)self this week."
A friend randomly texted me to let me know that they miss me more than I miss them (which I still doubt!).
A friend Snapchatted me to prove that she can make funny faces, too.
Friends stayed up late with me many times this week.
And so much more. Thank you, thank you, and thank you.
Kendall mentioned the letters to ourselves that we wrote at the end of BEDApril last year in his post this week. I am glad to see that he is excited to read them simply because things are so different now. Are they though? For me, I guess things have changed in more ways than one. And some things have stayed the same. I think I am still very much the same person--still stressed and overly-analytical, still eager to change the world and to take risks, but still so very afraid of what's to come. Still filled with the sadness that sits in my bones but still finding myself on upward rollercoasters more often than not. Still Jen.
I kind of wonder if I have really changed over the past year, and if I have, have I changed for the better? I am also excited to read the letters, but mostly because I think I want to see if I have actually changed, if things have really changed. It isn't as clear to me as it is for Kendall.
So I guess we'll wait and see.
(Bottom tallies and reformatting to be done tomorrow....for now, more reading and then sleep!)
3/30/13, 6:21pm ADD-ON:
(...what a liar)
Risks: 44 (Taco-Adventure Night!)
Books Read: 8 (AND I AM UP TO DATE ON MY READING BLOG WHAT WHAT HUZZAH)
Thank You Notes Written: 11
It's Been Totally Awesome
Hey guys!
This has been kind of a crazy week, but, I mean, what week isn't I guess. It was finals week this week, except I only had one final this week and my other 3 were the week before. It wasn't too bad. I'm just glad to be done with winter quarter and ready to start fresh.
On Wednesday I left with Gavin to come home. We flew standby, which was really stressful and took a really long time since we had to go to San Francisco first, but it was fun and totally worth it. I got like no sleep that night because we were just chilling in the airport, but was a tornado machine maker thing, so that was fun. If you want to see more from that adventure, I posted a vlog while I was in the airport. I would just like to say that I was so awkward because literally the entire population of San Francisco was in that airport and they were ALL SLEEPING!!!!
Yeah, so that happened. And then on Friday, I went with Jen, Gavin, Rebecca, and Shannon to get tacos and adventure. Slender forest? Scary as hell... Kind of. Eh at first it was.
But, um, yeah. I don't know. Remember how a year ago during BEDA last year, we wrote ourselves letters to ourselves a year from then? Well, I keep on thinking about that letter and what I might have wrote in it. I mean, I know that I can go back and read it any time, but I can't because I have to wait until the end of April. I think about how things were a year ago and I can't believe how much things have changed. But even though those things have changed, overall, I feel like things are kind of the same. It's just really weird. Also, I'm really excited to write this year's letter. I have seen how much as changed in this past year and I am excited for things to be able to change in the next upcoming year.
I don't know.... I'm gonna go now..... BAI!
Books Read: 3
Why This Week Was Awesome: Home!
Song Stuck in My Head: "I've Got What It Takes" by Alex Day
This has been kind of a crazy week, but, I mean, what week isn't I guess. It was finals week this week, except I only had one final this week and my other 3 were the week before. It wasn't too bad. I'm just glad to be done with winter quarter and ready to start fresh.
On Wednesday I left with Gavin to come home. We flew standby, which was really stressful and took a really long time since we had to go to San Francisco first, but it was fun and totally worth it. I got like no sleep that night because we were just chilling in the airport, but was a tornado machine maker thing, so that was fun. If you want to see more from that adventure, I posted a vlog while I was in the airport. I would just like to say that I was so awkward because literally the entire population of San Francisco was in that airport and they were ALL SLEEPING!!!!
Yeah, so that happened. And then on Friday, I went with Jen, Gavin, Rebecca, and Shannon to get tacos and adventure. Slender forest? Scary as hell... Kind of. Eh at first it was.
But, um, yeah. I don't know. Remember how a year ago during BEDA last year, we wrote ourselves letters to ourselves a year from then? Well, I keep on thinking about that letter and what I might have wrote in it. I mean, I know that I can go back and read it any time, but I can't because I have to wait until the end of April. I think about how things were a year ago and I can't believe how much things have changed. But even though those things have changed, overall, I feel like things are kind of the same. It's just really weird. Also, I'm really excited to write this year's letter. I have seen how much as changed in this past year and I am excited for things to be able to change in the next upcoming year.
I don't know.... I'm gonna go now..... BAI!
Books Read: 3
Why This Week Was Awesome: Home!
Song Stuck in My Head: "I've Got What It Takes" by Alex Day
Sunday, March 17, 2013
That Moment When Everyone Suddenly Breaks Into a Pitch Perfect Song
It's a Sunday night and I'm not in my dorm room. Whaaattt? Because, unlike previous Sunday nights, it's not Sherlock Night with Daisy tonight. I felt too lazy to get my stuff packed up and ready earlier today and there wasn't any real need for me to go back tonight anyway so I was like, "Can I just stay here?" So here I am!
Anyway, yes, Daisy and I watched both "A Scandal in Belgravia" and "The Reichenbach Fall" (we had already mistakenly watched "Hounds of Baskerville" earlier in the semester) on Friday night because I stayed in the dorms that night instead of coming home because I had a debate tournament on Saturday.
Oh yeah, did I mention that? I competed in a debate tournament on Saturday after, like, almost two years of no debate. It was weird. I mean, it was different, of course, because it was Worlds style, and the format and the rules are different from Policy (and LD and PFD, for that matter). But still. And, of course, with my luck, my team got paired against JLowe's team. See, I was hoping we'd be able to avoid them until the third round at the very least but the Universe didn't comply. Instead it was like, "NOPE TOO BAD JEN YOU LOSE TODAY." Which was totally fine, I liked that going against them brought me back to high school. And we definitely deserved to lose that round, hands down. But, overall, it was a good experience. However, I don't think I'm gonna be dropping everything going on right now to go and try out for my school's team.
Yeah, so right now I am working on a blog post on a separate platform for school about Joss Whedon's movie, "Serenity." One of my political science classes watched it throughout this past week, but because I missed two of the three days of class, I had to watch it on my own yesterday so that I can do the blog assignment.
Let me just say this: I've never been much of a sci-fi space-stuff kind of nerd-geek. More like weird-word-nerd-oh-hey-I-love-school-and-learning-and-reading-and-writing type of geek. But, honestly, I have been missing out on so much. Sci-fi can touch you in ways that no other genre can, I think. Well, to me, anyway. Pick up a fairy-tale-romance type thing and you're guaranteed a happy ending and tons of sweet-toothache cliches. Watch a comedy and, of course, you're gonna laugh (provided you a) get the jokes and b) actually do enjoy whatever type of humor is on there). If it's adventure, it'll be thrilling and there will be explosions and at least one scene when one character ALMOST dies. But for sci-fi, the only thing that you know about it for sure is the very thing it's called. It's science fiction, so you know it's science fiction. It isn't real and it's probably got some futuristic stuff on it. But you can have everything else on it too and you don't know unless you watch the whole thing. It can be funny and clever and hellishly freaky and scary and downright wrong and yet lighthearted at times. But it is a bundle of paradoxes in so many good ways. (Yay for use of paradox to understand something way less complicated. Except no, not really. Bad. Way to confuse everyone, Jen.)
Anyway, in the same class, we've watched Star Trek and The X-Files. We watched Doctor Who as well, and we were supposed to watch The Walking Dead, I think, but now I don't remember if I just skipped that class or if the prof decided not to, but hey it's on my syllabus. And now Serenity. So I really want to watch Firefly now. Also, Castle because of Nathan Fillion. And if we end up watching Star Wars later on this semester, oh Lord help me...
Speaking of changes, you guys know how I mentioned what I've been listening to lately? Like, Skrillex and Macklemore and dirty rap music (honestly, some of the music from our generation is just flat out disgusting...)? It's still happening. I keep thinking it's a phase. I am hoping it's a phase. Maybe it's because they're such good music to NOT fall asleep to, and because I've been pulling late night after late night lately...
What is this, "Let's Change Jen's Ways and Make Her Question Her True Identity" Month? Seriously, Universe, what are you even doing with your life?
On a more serious note, I just found out that the dining hall had "vegan sloppy joes" today. What even? In the words of a friend of mine, "That's like an airplane without wings, a lead pencil without lead. Or a Mac. Useless. " To which I enthusiastically nod and add what I always say in times like these: "That's like a dance party without the music. Or a college campus without a Taco Bell. Useless. And definitely NOT fun."
Tootles y'all. ONE MORE WEEK AND THEN BOOM. A BREAK OF THE SPRING VARIETY!
Risks: 43 (God, 3 in one week. Geez Jen, who even are you anymore... #YOLOgurl)
Books Read: 8 (I PUT ONE UP! But I still have to put up one more...I'll make sure to do it during break...)
Thank You Notes Written: 11 (none this week...)
Anyway, yes, Daisy and I watched both "A Scandal in Belgravia" and "The Reichenbach Fall" (we had already mistakenly watched "Hounds of Baskerville" earlier in the semester) on Friday night because I stayed in the dorms that night instead of coming home because I had a debate tournament on Saturday.
Oh yeah, did I mention that? I competed in a debate tournament on Saturday after, like, almost two years of no debate. It was weird. I mean, it was different, of course, because it was Worlds style, and the format and the rules are different from Policy (and LD and PFD, for that matter). But still. And, of course, with my luck, my team got paired against JLowe's team. See, I was hoping we'd be able to avoid them until the third round at the very least but the Universe didn't comply. Instead it was like, "NOPE TOO BAD JEN YOU LOSE TODAY." Which was totally fine, I liked that going against them brought me back to high school. And we definitely deserved to lose that round, hands down. But, overall, it was a good experience. However, I don't think I'm gonna be dropping everything going on right now to go and try out for my school's team.
Yeah, so right now I am working on a blog post on a separate platform for school about Joss Whedon's movie, "Serenity." One of my political science classes watched it throughout this past week, but because I missed two of the three days of class, I had to watch it on my own yesterday so that I can do the blog assignment.
Let me just say this: I've never been much of a sci-fi space-stuff kind of nerd-geek. More like weird-word-nerd-oh-hey-I-love-school-and-learning-and-reading-and-writing type of geek. But, honestly, I have been missing out on so much. Sci-fi can touch you in ways that no other genre can, I think. Well, to me, anyway. Pick up a fairy-tale-romance type thing and you're guaranteed a happy ending and tons of sweet-toothache cliches. Watch a comedy and, of course, you're gonna laugh (provided you a) get the jokes and b) actually do enjoy whatever type of humor is on there). If it's adventure, it'll be thrilling and there will be explosions and at least one scene when one character ALMOST dies. But for sci-fi, the only thing that you know about it for sure is the very thing it's called. It's science fiction, so you know it's science fiction. It isn't real and it's probably got some futuristic stuff on it. But you can have everything else on it too and you don't know unless you watch the whole thing. It can be funny and clever and hellishly freaky and scary and downright wrong and yet lighthearted at times. But it is a bundle of paradoxes in so many good ways. (Yay for use of paradox to understand something way less complicated. Except no, not really. Bad. Way to confuse everyone, Jen.)
Anyway, in the same class, we've watched Star Trek and The X-Files. We watched Doctor Who as well, and we were supposed to watch The Walking Dead, I think, but now I don't remember if I just skipped that class or if the prof decided not to, but hey it's on my syllabus. And now Serenity. So I really want to watch Firefly now. Also, Castle because of Nathan Fillion. And if we end up watching Star Wars later on this semester, oh Lord help me...
Speaking of changes, you guys know how I mentioned what I've been listening to lately? Like, Skrillex and Macklemore and dirty rap music (honestly, some of the music from our generation is just flat out disgusting...)? It's still happening. I keep thinking it's a phase. I am hoping it's a phase. Maybe it's because they're such good music to NOT fall asleep to, and because I've been pulling late night after late night lately...
What is this, "Let's Change Jen's Ways and Make Her Question Her True Identity" Month? Seriously, Universe, what are you even doing with your life?
On a more serious note, I just found out that the dining hall had "vegan sloppy joes" today. What even? In the words of a friend of mine, "That's like an airplane without wings, a lead pencil without lead. Or a Mac. Useless. " To which I enthusiastically nod and add what I always say in times like these: "That's like a dance party without the music. Or a college campus without a Taco Bell. Useless. And definitely NOT fun."
Tootles y'all. ONE MORE WEEK AND THEN BOOM. A BREAK OF THE SPRING VARIETY!
Risks: 43 (God, 3 in one week. Geez Jen, who even are you anymore... #YOLOgurl)
Books Read: 8 (I PUT ONE UP! But I still have to put up one more...I'll make sure to do it during break...)
Thank You Notes Written: 11 (none this week...)
We Regular
Hey guys!
What is up though! This week, like every other week I guess, went by like crazy. It was the last actual week of the quarter, so I had three finals in the past few days. My last one is tomorrow and then I'm done! I actually barely went to any classes this week, but I think that I've done pretty well on my finals so far. I'm just ready to go home, you know?
This week I ate outside of campus way too much. I've been spending way too much real money. On Wednesday night we went to get burgers. On Friday night we got Asian food. Saturday for lunch we ate at the same place and then for dinner that night it was burgers again. Then today I had Chipotle for lunch and it was so amazing, as always, but really, Chipotle is so goooooood. Then I just got back tonight from eating noodles. It's honestly not a good thing that we live right on the Ave, where all the food places and stuff are. Not healthy.
I also watched a lot of movies this week. What even is my life? I don't know. I'm just really excited to go home. Ahh, warmth. Kay, I need to go study for my chemistry final. BAI!
Books Read: 3
Why This Week Was Awesome: Last Week of Quarter!
Song Stuck in My Head: Pretty Much Empty...
What is up though! This week, like every other week I guess, went by like crazy. It was the last actual week of the quarter, so I had three finals in the past few days. My last one is tomorrow and then I'm done! I actually barely went to any classes this week, but I think that I've done pretty well on my finals so far. I'm just ready to go home, you know?
This week I ate outside of campus way too much. I've been spending way too much real money. On Wednesday night we went to get burgers. On Friday night we got Asian food. Saturday for lunch we ate at the same place and then for dinner that night it was burgers again. Then today I had Chipotle for lunch and it was so amazing, as always, but really, Chipotle is so goooooood. Then I just got back tonight from eating noodles. It's honestly not a good thing that we live right on the Ave, where all the food places and stuff are. Not healthy.
I also watched a lot of movies this week. What even is my life? I don't know. I'm just really excited to go home. Ahh, warmth. Kay, I need to go study for my chemistry final. BAI!
Books Read: 3
Why This Week Was Awesome: Last Week of Quarter!
Song Stuck in My Head: Pretty Much Empty...
Sunday, March 10, 2013
You Ampersand Me
Some songs tickle your insides and some songs get you to stand up and dance. Some push you toward love and some tell you to push it away in turn. And then there are the songs that can move planets. But even if you knew for sure that they could do that, it doesn't matter, because all you care about is how they move you.
These are songs that move you to adjust your earphones, to lean back and turn up the volume just as the bass kicks in, and you can feel the lights dimming and the louder the song is in your head, the more you feel it inside of you. And you close your eyes and it suddenly becomes just you and the words and the music. Just you with the words and the music. And that's all that matters--that you believe the words and become the song yourself.
That part in the Marianas' Trench song, "Beside You," when all the boys start their OOOHHHH WAAAY OHHHH WAAAY OOOHHHH over and over again in the background moves me in ways that I've never been moved. I feel like I can do anything, that I am not alone, that the very thing that I am doing is living and that is the very best thing that I could ever do. And I just listen to it over and over again and the feeling never changes. Not once.
These are the songs that were written especially for us (but not in the the-writer-was-literally-like-hey-this-song-is-going-to-be-for-Jen sense...more in a I-was-meant-to-listen-to-and-love-this-song kind of way). These are the songs that are just like books in that they are also ultimate Dumpees--they play within us over an over and we can ignore and/or block them for the longest time, but when we need to hear them the most, they'll always be playing on repeat no matter what. These are the songs of our hearts. These are the anthems of our lives that are anomalies but make perfect sense.
Tonight was (here comes the obligatory cliché guys) sort of a rollercoaster, but a good one. You know how liberating and satisfying that feeling can be--the feeling you get when you get off the rollercoaster and you're like, "Yes. YES. I understand." But you don't quite know what you understand. That doesn't matter, though, because you understand. I cried, argued, felt bitter, laughed, got scared, giggled, was worried, doubted myself, felt appreciative and sorry, and everything in between all in one night, and I am again "gripped by a cherishing so deep" for this idea that we are all alive. Yes, we are only along for the ride, but what a hell of a ride it is. And how lucky it is that we have this thing called "now" that takes place every single moment--each "now" building upon the other, making every "now" that comes after that much more important.
------
I just got finished watching the season one finale of Sherlock with Daisy. Now I gotta finish my logic homework (yayyyyyyyy). The study lounge is a bit more crowded than usual, but I'm well caffeinated and I've got my earbuds on and an awesome playlist on repeat. And if that doesn't work, I've got, um, my Skrillex and Thrift Shop playlists to keep me up (yeahh....my music tastes are changing and I don't know if I should be worried...). And if this is what life is going to be like for a while, I'll take it, because hey, this is me being alive, and that is a purely amazing thing.
On a side note, the song that's playing now is The Cab's "Bad" and really, it doesn't get any more perfect than this.
Risks: 40! (I should do something special for my 50th one...gotta get there first)...
Books Read: 8 (Still have to update...)
Thank You Notes Written: 11!
These are songs that move you to adjust your earphones, to lean back and turn up the volume just as the bass kicks in, and you can feel the lights dimming and the louder the song is in your head, the more you feel it inside of you. And you close your eyes and it suddenly becomes just you and the words and the music. Just you with the words and the music. And that's all that matters--that you believe the words and become the song yourself.
That part in the Marianas' Trench song, "Beside You," when all the boys start their OOOHHHH WAAAY OHHHH WAAAY OOOHHHH over and over again in the background moves me in ways that I've never been moved. I feel like I can do anything, that I am not alone, that the very thing that I am doing is living and that is the very best thing that I could ever do. And I just listen to it over and over again and the feeling never changes. Not once.
These are the songs that were written especially for us (but not in the the-writer-was-literally-like-hey-this-song-is-going-to-be-for-Jen sense...more in a I-was-meant-to-listen-to-and-love-this-song kind of way). These are the songs that are just like books in that they are also ultimate Dumpees--they play within us over an over and we can ignore and/or block them for the longest time, but when we need to hear them the most, they'll always be playing on repeat no matter what. These are the songs of our hearts. These are the anthems of our lives that are anomalies but make perfect sense.
Tonight was (here comes the obligatory cliché guys) sort of a rollercoaster, but a good one. You know how liberating and satisfying that feeling can be--the feeling you get when you get off the rollercoaster and you're like, "Yes. YES. I understand." But you don't quite know what you understand. That doesn't matter, though, because you understand. I cried, argued, felt bitter, laughed, got scared, giggled, was worried, doubted myself, felt appreciative and sorry, and everything in between all in one night, and I am again "gripped by a cherishing so deep" for this idea that we are all alive. Yes, we are only along for the ride, but what a hell of a ride it is. And how lucky it is that we have this thing called "now" that takes place every single moment--each "now" building upon the other, making every "now" that comes after that much more important.
------
I just got finished watching the season one finale of Sherlock with Daisy. Now I gotta finish my logic homework (yayyyyyyyy). The study lounge is a bit more crowded than usual, but I'm well caffeinated and I've got my earbuds on and an awesome playlist on repeat. And if that doesn't work, I've got, um, my Skrillex and Thrift Shop playlists to keep me up (yeahh....my music tastes are changing and I don't know if I should be worried...). And if this is what life is going to be like for a while, I'll take it, because hey, this is me being alive, and that is a purely amazing thing.
On a side note, the song that's playing now is The Cab's "Bad" and really, it doesn't get any more perfect than this.
Risks: 40! (I should do something special for my 50th one...gotta get there first)...
Books Read: 8 (Still have to update...)
Thank You Notes Written: 11!
Interrupting Javert Who?
Hey guys!
So, last week, Jen decided to criticize my use of certain words. Well guess what? TOO BAD! My weeks can be as Crazy and good fun times and real and da bomb.com as I want them to be! And that is not gonna change any time soon!
Ha ha that was pretty funny though, I enjoyed reading that thoroughly. But yeah, this week. Umm, whale, there is only one more real week of classes and while I have a final on next Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Monday, I probably should be a lot more stressed and stuff, but eh. Honestly, I'm not really worried about any of it. But yeah, it should be a fun time. Why? Cause after that is SPRING BREAK!!!! And you guys know me! I'm gonna be going cray ham party hard Kendall mode! ...... Ha ha good one.... Lets be honest here. I'm gonna sit in my room, play video games, and then go to Iolani and help every once and a while. That seems more accurate. But regardless, it will be WARM!
So yeah, that's kind of my life in a box. But yeah. Okay, I guess I should maybe kind of work on my lab report but eh. What even is school, right? Okay, maybe next week I'll actually write something substantial.
Books Read: 3
Why This Week Was Awesome: Book-Like
Song Stuck in My Head: Literally all of Les Mis........... STOP THE JUDGEMENT
So, last week, Jen decided to criticize my use of certain words. Well guess what? TOO BAD! My weeks can be as Crazy and good fun times and real and da bomb.com as I want them to be! And that is not gonna change any time soon!
Ha ha that was pretty funny though, I enjoyed reading that thoroughly. But yeah, this week. Umm, whale, there is only one more real week of classes and while I have a final on next Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Monday, I probably should be a lot more stressed and stuff, but eh. Honestly, I'm not really worried about any of it. But yeah, it should be a fun time. Why? Cause after that is SPRING BREAK!!!! And you guys know me! I'm gonna be going cray ham party hard Kendall mode! ...... Ha ha good one.... Lets be honest here. I'm gonna sit in my room, play video games, and then go to Iolani and help every once and a while. That seems more accurate. But regardless, it will be WARM!
So yeah, that's kind of my life in a box. But yeah. Okay, I guess I should maybe kind of work on my lab report but eh. What even is school, right? Okay, maybe next week I'll actually write something substantial.
Books Read: 3
Why This Week Was Awesome: Book-Like
Song Stuck in My Head: Literally all of Les Mis........... STOP THE JUDGEMENT
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Kendall Should Be Banned from Using the Word "Cray" 5EVER
Said every living creature, object, abstract concept, etc. in all of the universes. Right? RIGHT.
In all seriousness though, "cray" seems to be the one and only adjective you have been using for the past two month or so. I mean, it's not even word. But that's not why I disapprove. I think it's fine. I even say "cray" sometimes. You can say "This week has been cray" every now and then. But once you start being all, "This is cray" or "That was sups cray" or "EVERYTHING was a cray time" this is when the madness needs to stop. Please. I went back to read all of your posts so far this year and came up with this:
KENDALL'S WORD USES
> Cray: 10 (Sometimes even 3+ times in one post...and given that your posts are not that long in the first place, that says a lot...Your posts have a high concentration of "cray"...)
> A good/fun time: 6 (This is fine, I guess, I just noticed it when I was reading...)
> This has been real. We should do it again sometime...: 2
> Da [insert word here]: 5-ish (I think. I lost count and then I didn't wanna go back and count them again...)
Also, you used "high and tight" twice in that last post and that definitely perked up my Word Nerd Radar and I predict that it is going to become your new thing. Just like how I unofficially banned you from using "Your face" comebacks when we were juniors (or maybe sophomores?), and just like how I am unofficially banning you from using "cray" now, I predict that "high and tight" will get out of hand and I will be forced to do the same to your use of this phrase.
Really, Kendall, I like you and all, and I think you're really cool and stuff, but if this is the real you, I...I can't. If you start actually talking/writing like this, I don't think we can go on being best friends anymore. I'm sorry, but I can't. It's not you, it's me. JK, it's actually you, not me. Just you. Yep, all you.
--
Hope you all have a wonderful week! Listen to some Peter Bjorn and John--it's good for the soul.
Loves to all!
Risks: 39
Books Read: 8 (Note to Jen: Update your Book Tumblr!)
Thank You Notes Written: 9 (I am about to write one, so I will count that on the next post.)
In all seriousness though, "cray" seems to be the one and only adjective you have been using for the past two month or so. I mean, it's not even word. But that's not why I disapprove. I think it's fine. I even say "cray" sometimes. You can say "This week has been cray" every now and then. But once you start being all, "This is cray" or "That was sups cray" or "EVERYTHING was a cray time" this is when the madness needs to stop. Please. I went back to read all of your posts so far this year and came up with this:
KENDALL'S WORD USES
> Cray: 10 (Sometimes even 3+ times in one post...and given that your posts are not that long in the first place, that says a lot...Your posts have a high concentration of "cray"...)
> A good/fun time: 6 (This is fine, I guess, I just noticed it when I was reading...)
> This has been real. We should do it again sometime...: 2
> Da [insert word here]: 5-ish (I think. I lost count and then I didn't wanna go back and count them again...)
Also, you used "high and tight" twice in that last post and that definitely perked up my Word Nerd Radar and I predict that it is going to become your new thing. Just like how I unofficially banned you from using "Your face" comebacks when we were juniors (or maybe sophomores?), and just like how I am unofficially banning you from using "cray" now, I predict that "high and tight" will get out of hand and I will be forced to do the same to your use of this phrase.
Really, Kendall, I like you and all, and I think you're really cool and stuff, but if this is the real you, I...I can't. If you start actually talking/writing like this, I don't think we can go on being best friends anymore. I'm sorry, but I can't. It's not you, it's me. JK, it's actually you, not me. Just you. Yep, all you.
--
Hope you all have a wonderful week! Listen to some Peter Bjorn and John--it's good for the soul.
Loves to all!
Risks: 39
Books Read: 8 (Note to Jen: Update your Book Tumblr!)
Thank You Notes Written: 9 (I am about to write one, so I will count that on the next post.)
Hoveround Takes Me Where I Want To Go, Thank You Hoveround
Hey guys!
So, this week has been good. It's been productive. It's been cray cray. So, first thing is that I came up with this super awesome exciting wonderful idea. Only, I don't think I can share it with you guys yet. Still on the DL. But just so you know, it's really cool and really exciting. Jen and I have been working on it all week and it's gonna be da bomb.com.
Next, I read like cray this week. I reread "The Name of the Star" and then read The Madness Underneath. Moral of the story: I HATE Maureen Johnson. JK though, I love her.
The quarter is almost over. Two more weeks what what!!!! This quarter went by super fast. Cray.
Last, this week it was my grandpa's 90th birthday. Like, what? 90? What even. So yeah, my cousin flew in again and I hung out with her and my aunt and then today we went to lunch and it was so nom. Like, for real, I was keepin it high and tight.
Here is a picture from that:
Anyway, this has been cool. It's been real. You know? Like, we should do this again sometime. Hey, next month April! BEDA round ..... what round is it? Like 5 billion already. Anyway, I'm excited. Are you excited? You better be. It's gonna be high and tight.
Shoots!
Books Read: 3!!!! (What what what what what what what what what what)
Why This Week Was Awesome: Productivity
Song Stuck in My Head: "Beauty And A Beat".... Don't Judge. JK, judge all you want.
So, this week has been good. It's been productive. It's been cray cray. So, first thing is that I came up with this super awesome exciting wonderful idea. Only, I don't think I can share it with you guys yet. Still on the DL. But just so you know, it's really cool and really exciting. Jen and I have been working on it all week and it's gonna be da bomb.com.
Next, I read like cray this week. I reread "The Name of the Star" and then read The Madness Underneath. Moral of the story: I HATE Maureen Johnson. JK though, I love her.
The quarter is almost over. Two more weeks what what!!!! This quarter went by super fast. Cray.
Last, this week it was my grandpa's 90th birthday. Like, what? 90? What even. So yeah, my cousin flew in again and I hung out with her and my aunt and then today we went to lunch and it was so nom. Like, for real, I was keepin it high and tight.
Here is a picture from that:
Anyway, this has been cool. It's been real. You know? Like, we should do this again sometime. Hey, next month April! BEDA round ..... what round is it? Like 5 billion already. Anyway, I'm excited. Are you excited? You better be. It's gonna be high and tight.
Shoots!
Books Read: 3!!!! (What what what what what what what what what what)
Why This Week Was Awesome: Productivity
Song Stuck in My Head: "Beauty And A Beat".... Don't Judge. JK, judge all you want.
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