Tuesday, April 30, 2013

BEDA 30: Satisfied

Okay guys. For those of you who are new, you can read my 2012 Letter to Myself here. No, really, it is a pretty awesome letter. I don't know how I can top it. 

I won't spend time talking about today because I want to include that in my letter, but I did want to comment on something that Kendall said. This was the first ever BEDA where we didn't see each other at all. But I feel like that's something that can qualify lots of firsts for us right? First birthday scavenger hunts without being together, first second semester of school without being together, first last Tuesday of a month that starts with an A without being together...you get the picture. Again, we have this constant thing that reminds us that everything is different now and nothing will ever be exactly the same because we ourselves are growing and changing into what we hope to be better people. 

I guess these letters will just become a lengthy conversation with one another because I feel the need to respond indirectly to what I wrote last year while adding what I've learned in the past year. 

Ready? Let's do this.


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Dear 2014 Jen,

First of all, can we both just take this moment to freak out because OMG JOSH IS GRADUATING THIS YEAR LIKE WHAT EVEN MAN WHERE DID THE TIME GO THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. That will be all on that matter. (Or is it?)

So, Past Jen, it's been a while since I've seen you--exactly a year. How have you been? Life treating you all right? I hope so. I know you'll be reading this letter on April 30, 2014, but I'd also like for you to read your 2012 letter as well. I feel like you can get a lot out of that one. 

But before we move on, I think you know what you have to do first. Take a risk, missy. Do it and come back, and then you can read the rest of the letter. GO GO GO GO GO.

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DO IT.

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All right, awesome job love. 

So back to the topic of the 2012 letter, because that letter is largely filled with things that you should be doing in life (because all Past and Future Jens have agreed on all of them), I wanna focus on something else for this year's letter--comparisons.

To start off, let me describe where I am right now. I am sitting on a bed in a dorm room. The door is open and there are six other people in here with me: Quintin is standing next to me, his laptop on the bed. Brandon is sitting to my left, his laptop on his lap. I am typing with only my right hand at the moment; my left hand is currently incapacitated due to mild cubital tunnel syndrome so it is resting on one of Duk's pillows between me and Brandon. Duk is on his desk, cranking out pages for his English final paper. Kevin is trying to clean out some food on his side of the room. And Justin and Kaiewa are here, too, just floating. 

Can you see it in your head? Duk's bed is gray. There is an orderly clutter about the room--binders and books lined up on the desk, food items and containers about the room, stuff lining the shelves. It's the kind of clutter that you grow to be comfortable with after a while because it means people have had fun here and continue to do so. It's a clutter with which I am unfamiliar but also one I am growing to think is necessary.

MARKET BREAK TIME! I WILL BE BACK TO FINISH LATER.

And I'm back! See, this is my point. When did Present Jen ever hang out in other people's rooms to do work? When did Present Jen ever take Market Breaks? When did Present Jen ever do anything besides work and worry? The past week has been just me working and hanging out at the same time with a group of awesome people with whom I wish I could have started hanging out more earlier this year. Because I can now say that they will be one of the very top reasons why I am going to miss dorming next year. And while it has taken me a bit longer than usual to finish my work, I've been having fun, which is essential right? 

Okay, to be honest, when I read my 2012 letter to 2013 me, I went down the checklist and asked myself all of the questions it instructed me to ask myself. I checked off each little tidbit of advice. And I realized that I was citing specific instances of me fulfilling those things--but all of them had taken place only within the past few days or so. And, to be honest, I was a bit disappointed because yes, all of the big ideas were still present in my life, but none of the ones that involved me focusing on myself and taking it easy. Until this past week. 

And that's what I'd like you to think about and assess, Future Jen. Take in where you are right now--where you're sitting, what you're doing, who you're with. And compare it to the way with which I have chosen to end the second semester. Are they similar? 

Bottom line, are you enjoying yourself? You've been working hard for so long and I hope you still are, but it is also important to remind yourself to fool around every once in a while. 

Something else also happened today that got you all worried and a bit upset. And you shouldn't have made it a big deal in your head. Remember what Melissa, Melise, and Shelly said in the conference room today at the lunch thing? How's that going by the way? I hope the plan that they hatched led to something that helped you grow. No matter what, if it helped you grow, it is more good than it is bad. And that's the thing. No matter what, you are who you are now and you are where you are now. Keep that in mind, and eat something while you're thinking about it, and you'll feel better instantly. Trust me.

It's been almost two years since you've graduated from high school and, if you're still on the three-year track, you should be set to apply for law schools by the next semester. How're you feeling about that? Remember what Nitz said, "Unless you've done something evil, someone will take you. And you should always say yes to those who really want you."

I feel like there are so many more things that I want to say but I just can't think of them right now. I can't really even keep my eyes open. And I've actually given up with the left arm resting thing and have been typing with two hands for the past four paragraphs or so. I can't do a lot of things, many of them I will be able to in time, but what I can do right now is hope that you're doing well, you're still working hard, you're keeping what you believe close to you, you're making us all proud, and you're managing to have fun as well. You've still got years ahead of you, kiddo. Make them all count. 

Live your life the way you want to and remember to love. And, as always, don't forget to be awesome love.

Best wishes, 
Jen&Berry

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Risks: 47 (the anti-risk)
Books Read: 10 
Thank You Notes Written: 15 
Caffeinated Drinks Consumed So Far in April: 26 

5 comments:

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    1. there was an embarrassing typo in the previous comment that I couldnt rectify so yeah anyway yeah free domain means freedom to comment

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    2. What was the embarrassing typo...?

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