First of all, I must warn you that this will be short. Or it could be really emotional. I was hoping to discuss something important and hopefully thought-provoking here today but seeing as the entire world said goodbye to the Ponds yesterday and my feelings are all over the place as a result, I can't.
I kept putting off blogging the entire night because I have to talk about my feels but I don't wanna talk about them because I just want to ignore them altogether. But it's almost 11pm and Daisy's already asleep and I don't wanna miss a day so here goes.
Just a quick update. The hustle and bustle has died down a bit. This week wasn't bad. I had a couple of meetings. I had a quiz in American Studies 150 on Friday. I took my mom to Eat the Street on Friday. The theme was Cheese and Sausage. This weekend, I took a practice LSAT ice cold--no studying, no reading about the general format of the test, nothing. I went phone banking. Then I had some free frozen yogurt at Menchie's. I watched Doctor Who and Alphas. I studied for my econ midterm today. I also got a new phone.
I can't really function. I'm depressed and I want to curl up in a ball and cry because the Ponds are lost. They are forever lost. They will never come back for a Christmas special. They won't ever be guest stars in future episodes celebrating a special year in the Doctor Who fandom. They can't even come back when they're older like Sarah Jane Smith did! They're just. Gone. And I'm still crying. I've been making gross sobbing sounds and internally screaming and making ugly whale noises, trying to cope with my feels. I can't. I just can't anymore and I don't wanna talk about it because I just wanna be a teenage girl and cope by wrapping myself up in a warm blanket, writing about my feelings in an angsty and mysterious way, staying up on Tumblr and eating Jack Daniels-flavored ice cream until 3am in the morning. But I can't because I have class in the morning and I haven't done my readings for tomorrow and there isn't any ice cream here let alone one with whiskey in it.
And I miss Aid. (Win and Kirs: I miss you guys a lot too. Terribly!) But I really miss Aid.
Risks: 31 (a cafeteria risk courtesy of Daisy!)
Hugs: 2
Current food obsessions/cravings: water, oatmeal
Playlists on Repeat:
Books Read Since Graduation: 6
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