Mrs. Kuioka was hovering over the middle of the alphabet (Maybe the Ks, ironically? Who knows?) with a list of student names in her hand. When she saw me, I smiled at her and was about to walk past her toward the R box when she suddenly exclaimed, "Jen!" and then pulled me into one of those tight and lengthy hugs for which she is quite known around campus. I was confused but I hugged her back just as tightly, of course. "I just got your senior portrait. Thank you," she said, her cheek buried under my messy hair. "That's what it was all about."
"That's what it was all about," she repeated.
The week before, I had labored over my senior portrait messages. I thought that it would be a hard task in terms of trying to figure out what to say to each teacher but, actually, it came very easily because I have learned valuable and unique lessons from all of them. And Mrs. K's message was one of the easiest ones to write.
Mrs. K was my very first math teacher in 'Iolani. Before I took Algebra 1C with her, I had always equated math class with dread because I hated feeling lost and never knowing the correct answer--much less how to get it! Anyone who knows me knows that I like math only when I know what I'm doing. And, usually, I do not know what I'm doing--at least for the first half of class, or until I've had at least a day to soak in the teacher's lectures.
But Mrs. K encouraged me to close my eyes, breathe and keep going. It didn't matter how many times I got stumped, she pushed me and made me realize that I would not get any better unless I tried and made mistakes. No matter how many times I froze, my pencil hovering in midair, ready to pack up and go home, she stood over my shoulder in class and made sure I wrote something--anything!--down on that piece of paper and not leave it blank. She taught me that it is okay to look at a math problem and have absolutely no idea how to solve it. She taught me that it is okay to go back to what I do know and use that in order to make sense of the unfamiliar. She taught me that it is perfectly okay to JUST CHARGE.
And that is definitely what all this--*gestures wildly*--this thing that we do, this "LIVING LIFE" thing that we always say that we want and have to do is all about: trying new things and constantly pushing forward no matter what. I know this and I live by it. And I have Mrs. K to thank for it. So I told her so in my senior portrait message to her.
As I thought about this in the darkened theater later that night, trying my hardest not to fall asleep during "Snow White and the Huntsman" (to no avail--I fell asleep during the last 45 minutes), I realized that, ironically, I have learned some of the most valuable lessons from the teachers who have taught me the subject to which I feel the least connected: math.
My Algebra 1C teacher, Mrs. Kuioka, taught me not to fear the obstacles in my way. I can always go back and find another route around them.
Mrs. Nirei taught me that there are times in life when there are no right or wrong answers, much like Geometry. In times like these, the conviction with which I defend and support what I believe is the only thing that matters.
Mrs. Miura's rigorous daily quizzes in Algebra 2A showed me that unwavering focus and fiery determination can help me get wherever I want to be. Nothing is ever impossible as long as I work hard every single day and focus.
Mr. Rubasch's eccentric lectures proved to me that being different is never a bad thing and that conformism gets you nowhere. Being "an individual" is something to be embraced in order to find one's identity. It is to be nurtured if it is to stand the tests of adversity.
When I fell terribly behind on Precalculus homework my junior year, Mr. Guillou gave me my very first (and only!) 3 under the category of "Effort" on my report card (with 4 being the worst evaluation). I definitely needed that wake-up call to see the importance of maintaining a healthy balance in my life. In the real world, I now know that I will have to prioritize, choose, and toggle--and the dilemma will never be as trivial as choosing between AP USH, Physics B, and math homework.
And, finally, my year with Mr. Park in Calc AB showed me that it really isn't all about the grades. "It's about the learning!" Mr. Park repeatedly yelled at us, ever the "Furious Scribblers," throughout the school year. Though I only got a glimpse of how people like Kendall feel about math, I am so glad and thankful that Mr. Park led me toward this opportunity of realizing how beautiful and rewarding a challenging subject can be--even if I was on the border between a B+ and an A- all year.
In the past four years, the higher and more advanced the math class got, the least useful it all seemed to be to me. Little did I know that I was actually learning valuable life lessons along the way. Though I had thought of math as one of the most limited and narrow subjects I will ever have to take, I now realize that it is definitely far from it.
If I get a 5 in my AP Calculus AB exam (and I will find out mid-July, I believe), it means I won't have to take math at all in the next four years (unless I drastically change my major...which I won't). I never thought I would say this, but I am definitely going to miss sitting in a math class. Nevertheless, I am praying that I do get the required score of 5 because if I had to take math in college, I know I will never encounter math instructors who can even compare to the six I had in 'Iolani. I am a very lucky girl indeed.
Risks: 20
Hugs: 2...but the day is still young-ish.
Current food cravings/obsessions: chex mix
Playlist(s) on repeat: heyijustmetyouandthisiscrazybuthere'smynumbersocallmemaybe!Books Read Since Graduation: 1 (This is a "new chapter" of my life so I'm tracking books read now! Visit anewchapter-literally.tumblr.com for more!)
P.S. Okay, I'm off to read more.
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