Mannn

I forgot again! Ugh! Well, it is a long weekend so...

I drove for the first time in a long while yesterday. Yes, I cried. Again. SIGH.

I am back in town trying to catch up with my LSAT classes still. I am getting there, but there is still lots of stuff to be done. It is hard to keep a positive attitude but I am ok. Last night was my official last chance to change the date of my test, so there is no turning back now. I HAVE TO KILL THE JUNE LSAT NO MATTER WHAT. 

Okay, I have to go. My cereal is getting cold.

(Pssh, what, my cereal is alreadyg cold.)

Xibalba and Friends

Hey guys!

This was actually a very "boring"/normal week. Like. I didn't do much other than class and work. I hung out with friends a little. But most importantly, I got to sleep. I think this is going to be like the only weekend ever that I am actually able to sleep. Legitimately  I have not had a weekend like this all year. It's been a great time.

On Friday night, we went over to Bianca's and had some fun with some cake "doughnuts". Then we were cute and went out to brunch Saturday morning and then that night we watched Connie's new play, which was really good. It was just really fun spending all that time with friends, specifically Bianca. 

Umm, yeah. This is all you get and I'm not even sorry about it. I have two weeks left of class. That's a things. Until then I guess. 

Why This Week Was Awesome: Return to "Normalcy" 
Books Read: 6
Times Eaten at Chipotle: 23
Airplanes Ridden: 12
Concerts Attended: 5 (9 total) 

Summer! NOT!

I noticed it was Monday today, and I was like, welp. I didn't blog yesterday. Oops.

So last week was finals week! Which means IT IS OVER!! Whoo!

It got pretty crazy, there were lots of hair pulling. But honestly, studying for the exams is always worse than taking them--because I study for them. It is a vicious cycle--the worse the studying goes, the better the exam goes. Also. I don't think I took the allotted two hours for any of my exams last week actually....Ahh, the life of a social science major. It is the best.

So now that finals week is over, it means it is summer right? Not really...

I take my LSAT exam in two weeks. And I am terrified. I am also studying. So yeah. I was in the library today. 

And now I have to do some work! Tootles!

The Scandal is Real

Hey guys!

Umm, this was a week.

Ha ha I don't know, I don't know what to say. This is weird. But not really. 

It was warm again this week, that's always nice. I must say that I am liking the Spring time. You don't really get to appreciate season changes in Hawaii, so it is a fun time to be able to experience it and enjoy it. 

I reread The Fault in Our Stars this week. I know that it's gained an incredible amount of hype over the past two years, but honestly, when I went back and read it, I forgot how much I loved it. Like, I love the characters so much. You can tell how John has changed as a writer throughout his books. I don't know, I'm excited for the movie. 

I'm also really glad that we read it when it first came out. We were Day 1. Like, it was funny, I wrote notes in my copy and as I was going through it, I noticed that all the big and famous quotes from that book now were things I underlined before they were big and famous. Hehe, I knew. 

I have three more weeks of class, then finals, then summer. Wooo. Ugh. I'm kind of over it, but that's alright. Almost there, you know? You know. 

Why This Week Was Awesome: 

Books Read: 6 (TFiOS!)

Times Eaten At Chipotle: 21 (FREEEE!!!!)

Airplanes Riden: 12

Concerts Attended: 5! (9 total)

Aww I am sorry, Kendall!

I don't mean to make your heart hurt! >_< I am sorry! Even if it is in a good way, I hope to make your heart light--so light that it can fly away, taking you along for the ride!

This week has gone by in a blur. Classes are done! Yay! And finals start tomorrow. Boo! I am currently juggling studying for classes, work, and catching up with my LSAT classes. I have to make up a couple of classes, each of which are three hours long, and also all of the homework...sadness! Once finals are over, I am gonna go full speed ahead with the LSAT prepping because I cannot afford to lose any more time. I take the exam on June 9! Which is also the reason why I cannot really go and see TFIOS right when it comes out. 

Studying for the LSAT is hard and not fun, most times, because it makes my head hurt. It completely changes the way you are taught to think and going at it for only two hours even is too much. I make sure to take breaks, of course, to stay sane. Going any longer than that is not beneficial at all in the end. At first, I would take breaks just by getting on Tumblr or Pinterest for a bit, but now it has become necessary for me to actually get up from my seat, go outside, take a short walk, go to the bathroom, grab a snack and/or coffee somewhere, call someone on the phone, and stuff like that, just so that I am not as burned out when I go back in for another two hours. It will get easier after finals. Right now, I don't have the luxury of taking the recommended hour or two for break in between sessions. But once it is really summer, I can work for two and a half hours in the library, then walk out to spend some time throwing around a football or something, go back in for another two hours, walk somewhere to grab lunch, then back for a final session, and then spend the rest of the time in the gym. Boom!

Ughh, I am so ready for finals to be over! This is the first time I actually have sit-down exams because COMG...I only have one no-final-just-turn-in-final-paper class and, of course, it is my only Poli Sci class....

Bye guys and see you on the other side!

Hurting Hearts

Hey guys!

Ew, it feels like it's been a while since I've done this. 

Anyway, I wanted to say that Jen's letter to herself was everything. I really just can't with her anymore. She is on that level that we all aspire to be. Like, we need to be up there with her, but she's just too good for us all. She makes my heart hurt.

That's something that I thought about this weekend. I use that phrase sometimes, that someone makes my heart hurt. I don't know if that is something that could be taken as negative, but I use it extremely positively. 

Someone who makes my heart hurt is someone who I have so much love for that I physically cannot handle it. When someone is so perfect and so amazing that you don't know what to do about them. 

I'm incredibly lucky to have people in my life who make my heart hurt. I'm gonna steal something from Jen real quick, but something that she likes to live by is how she wants to touch people's heavy hearts to make them light. That's what people who make my heart hurt are doing. They bring so much joy and happiness into my life that it eases the burden off of everything else.

I really don't know why I was feeling so sentimental about this this week. But I just felt a lot of love in and around my life and it just made me happy. 

Why This Week Was Awesome: Amazing People

Books Read: 5 

Times Eaten At Chipotle: 20 (I turned up this week...)

Airplanes Riden: 12

Concerts Attended: 5! (9 total)

The Letter

Dear Jen,

As I write this, I realize that I am writing this with a more solemn perspective and voice than I have in the past two years. Whether that comes from the maturity I may have gained, the hardened approach with which I have had to deal with some issues lately, or just the fact that I am running the final stretch of the semester (classes end in a week!) and am thus running out of steam, I am not sure.

But here I am nonetheless. Don’t get me wrong, I want to write this letter. This is one of the rare chances I get to do something for me. This is an opportunity for me to learn, consciously, from the past year and understand fully how I have changed and grown over the months since I last took the time to imprint a version of myself onto (web)pages that will hopefully preserve them that I may look back at each one like an old school yearbook photo.

Before we start, however, I am pretty sure you should know the drill by now. Go take a risk girl and don’t come back and read the rest of the letter until you do. Go!

-----------------------

And so, here is a quick recap of the past year, the quick and dirty (but not in that way) version: After you wrote your letter for 2014 Jen, you fell in love, slowly, and then all at once. You finished your freshman year of college having avoided that dreaded Freshman 15. You felt invincible in the summer, balancing summer school operations at ‘Iolani and transferring files at UH. You were a “vegetarian” for a good part of that summer. You went home to Hogwarts, drove through the South. Your heart finally found its way to Washington, D.C.--that great big city that have always called onto its doorstep many wanderers and dreamers. And then you took on the Big Apple, albeit for only a couple of days. It was a whirlwind and tiring trip that ended with Springtime Montreal, a starkly different picture from the bitter winter wonderland that you visited in 2010. You had the three best days of your life (at the time) before heading back to DC where you lived and worked for almost four months. You kayaked the Potomac at dusk, tailgated the UH vs. Navy football game, airplane-watched at Gravelly Park, watched an oral argument at the Supreme Court, explored the bowels of the Capitol, walked to and visited all of the monuments in DC Metro at night, went on two glorious Dome tours, visited the White House on the first day tours opened, ate cupcakes at Georgetown Cupcakes, Sprinkles, and Baked&Wired all in one day, and so much more. You missed home, got sick alone, and longed for Hawaii. And you came back to a different world--you started living at home again, took on new responsibilities, declared a second major that helped make so much more sense of your entire life, which was so liberating and eye-opening. You have met new friends, lost touch with old ones, embraced change and fought through every single battle.

The past year has been very rich indeed, love. And you should be very proud of all that you have learned and accomplished and endured and persevered through.

I think it is still important to ask the essential questions. A couple of years ago, I had written a long list of questions to always ask yourself, but I think those can be condensed to a few that will always suffice. Plus, their shortness will allow you to conduct a temperature check more often than annual.

First of all, are you happy? If you are, make sure to be thankful for the reasons why you are. If you are not particularly so, understand whether it is something within your control or not, and then make sure that the things you do control are making you smile. Last year, I wrote that happiness is a choice. It really is. Choose it.

At the moment, I am both happy and not at the same time. I am learning to pick my battles, to endure and sacrifice, to find patience and love in places you would least expect to, and to be thankful for those pockets of wonders.

Second, are you doing your very best? Sometimes, it is easy to forget that your best is all that you can do, and that it is enough. What others do and say should not matter, and others should not dictate the way that you conduct yourself. Be proud of what you achieve because of the hard work that you put into it. And don’t be afraid to say that you can’t if you really can’t. Don’t be afraid to fail as long as you make sure to do your best.

I think at this point in my life, I am doing my best. My fear is that I will end up burning myself out before I achieve anything that can amount to me succeeding as an independent adult. But I have nothing to do but push past that fear so that I do keep working. I know I can do this. I take my LSATs in June and start applying this fall for law school. I can do this.

Third, are you helping others? This is the hardest thing to keep in mind, it seems, when you grow busier and busier by the month. But it is also the easiest thing to do. Do the little things, and you will never forget. Do the little things and the big things will follow. Do the little things and pay forward what little has been done to you.

I am trying. I really am trying. And that is good. Though Kendall and I have faltered in the small army for now, this does not mean our values or beliefs have changed. We can still make moments for others in our own ways.

Four, are you living? This means, are you taking risks? Are you passionate about what you do? Are you laughing breathlessly when you can? Are you being silly and youthful? Are you swinging on swings and putting on silly faces and fingerpainting your way through life? Are you making sure that you have tons of love in your life?

I have recently noticed that I am no longer terribly unhappy when I am stressed. I think I have gotten better with dealing with it--I have become a lot more accepting of situations where things do not go the way I expect or plan them to. I have also found sources of happiness that I have never had in my life, which helps a lot.

And there you have it 2015 Jen. By this time, you probably already have a good idea where you are going for law school. If, by any chance, for some reason, your path has changed, I hope that wherever you go, you take your heart with you. You feel things for a reason, Jen. You are hardwired to feel life within you, reverberating in your bones. So take your heart along for the ride and don’t leave it behind, because it is going to be very hard to feel with your brain. With that said, you also need to take your brain because I hope that you keep in mind all of the good that has happened to you so far, and how that must be paid back and forward and to the world. Show me what you can do, Jen, because I know and believe in you that you can be the word-wielder and world-changer we have always wanted to be. Whatever shape or form that dream may take within the next several months, I hope that you are happy, and safe, and healthy, and loving.

And if all else fails, there is always Paris. Because a bad day in Paris is still better than a good day elsewhere--who cares if you’re poor in the city of love, right? As long as your heart stays strong and your mind keeps up, and the two work in accord, your feet and your tongue will take you to places you have only dreamed.

And as always, eat your veggies, hit the gym, sleep, bake until your heart is content, sing and dance uninhibitedly, and look for the adventures within you.

With all my love and my hope for all the very best,

Jen

P.S. You should have another letter to read within the next several days. Go read it.