"Quiet Yourself, Remus!"

Yeah, okay. So I'm a failure. And huge one at that. 


Yep, It's official. JEN = FAILURE. 


But please, don't throw rotten tomatoes at your computer screen and yell, "[Jen], you're an embarrassment to the Wizarding world, all of [you]!!" 
(See what I did there? No? Well, click here, and start at 0:39!)


Not yet, at least.


Last night, I was working on my British Literature paper. I was really tired so, at 10pm, I decided to take a little power nap. I set my cell phone's alarm clock for 10:15pm, confident in its abilities to ring shrilly when programmed. The next thing I knew, I heard my mom hiss, "Jen! Did you just go to sleep?" Startled, I shot up and mumbled, "WhatwaithuhnoIdon'tknow?" 


The lights were still on. My mom nodded, turned the lights off and closed the door. That's when I looked at my phone. It was 2:10am. BIGGEST FML MOMENT OF MY LIFE.


I sense your anger subsiding. I also sense you beginning to understand my reason for failure. Good, good, let's build on that. Yeah, focus on that feeling for now until you're sure that you really understand where I'm coming from and all that negative energy is gone.


Ready? Well, um, yeah, I'm kinda-maybe-not-really-ish not going to post a legit post tonight to make up for it. Hold it! Before you throw anything, let me explain the deal. Tonight is a REALLY bad night. I won't go into details because I'll sound all complain-y (which I'm determined not to do despite tonight's load!), but trust me that it is. 


So this means that Friday's post will be AWESOME. My Saturday post will also be AWESOME (but it will be posted early in the day because of prom). My Sunday post (wait, Sunday post? Sunday is MAY 1!) will also be AWESOME (with updates on The List) and (there's an "and"???) my Monday, May 2nd post will also be AWESOME.


I will stay on for Official BEDA(pril) Make-Up Posts and promise you AWESOME posts. And if I don't meet your expectations, let me know and we'll make some sort of deal so I can make it up to you.


Today......
I really loved...donut run!
I smiled because...I got a Fair shirt in homeroom today but I didn't order one! I guess they had extras.
Lyrics playing at this very moment as I type this portion of the blog:
"...even now you're undressed in your dreams with me. I'm only here for this moment..."
(Everybody Here Wants You by Jeff Buckley)
Hours of sleep last night: 6--I got 2 hours extra because of The Incident.
Times it got COLD today: 2-ish-slash-3-ish
Friend of the day: Kei :)


--Jen (no smiley face tonight because, remember, I'm a failure!)

Thursday: Mie's Mornings

THE FOLLOWING POST IS MY FAILURE POST. I DID NOT POST YESTERDAY. I TYPED ALL OF THIS UP ON THURSDAY NIGHT, BUT I DIDN'T GET TO POST IT UNTIL NOW (AND IT'S FRIDAY MORNING). SORRY. I'LL PUT UP MY FRIDAY POST LATER ON TODAY OR TONIGHT.


**EDIT** at 4:30pm (4/22/11): We JUST hit 4000 under Total Views. Whoo.
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Day 21!


This one'll be short. I wanna go to sleep. Kendall's still at that NASA dance in school. Gah, I wanted to go.

Last summer, I took Trig and P/SAT Prep during summer school and I received scholarship to offset the costs. In return, I worked for an hour every morning at the Lower School autoline, opening car doors for the little kids. I stood out at the autoline, along with other scholarship workers, and we wore those reflective orange vests. And we greeted the kids arriving to school, and opened the car doors for them, and helped them out of their car seats if necessary. It wasn't fun-fun, but it wasn't boring either. The whole summer, we saw the same kids over and over again, of course, and it's cool to see how kids say goodbye to their parents or, if they have siblings, the things they say to each other early in the morning. 


Anyway, there was this specific truck that almost ways ended up in front of me at the autoline, and I was always the one to open the back car door. The cutest little girl with full cheeks and blonde hair (always tied in either pigtails or a long braid) would always greet me on the other side of the door. I could tell that she was shy and soft-spoken (SP?) from the very beginning with the way she slowly and carefully unbuckled her seatbelt. I took her backpack from her lap that first day as she gingerly stepped out onto the pavement. She then took her backpack, adjusted it on her shoulders, and whispered (she whispered!) to her father in the front seat, "Bye, Dad. I love you."


She was, hands-down, the most adorable thing I had ever seen.


For the first several mornings, I opened her door for her. Then one day, as she went about unbuckling her seatbelt, her father turned from the front seat and said, "Mie, did you wanna ask your friend something?" He cocked his head in my direction as Mie smiled.


She softly asked me, "What's your name?" as she carefully stepped out of the truck.


"Jen," I answered. 


"Hi, Jen," she said shyly. Then she turned to her dad, whispered her goodbye, and waved to us goodbye.


Her father thanked me and I smiled and shut the door.


There were mornings when Mie's father's truck stopped a couple of scholarship workers in front or behind me, but Mie and I never failed to smile and wave at each other. She made my mornings, and I hope I helped make hers too.


On the last day of summer school, I didn't get to open her car door because she and her father arrived a bit later than usual. We were already folding and packing up our vests when that familiar truck finally pulled up at the autoline. Mie ran out of the truck and came up to me, carrying a little baggie in her hands. The morning bell was about to ring at any minute, but Mie gave me a big hug and thanked me "for everything" before running off to class. I waved a final goodbye to her father before he drove off.

Mie had given me a Ziploc bag of goldfish snacks and bubbles (!!). I had fun with those bubbles for the rest of the summer.

I really like kids—they’re so genuine. When they say something, you know that they always mean it, every word, no matter what. I saw a lot of kids that summer and it felt good that I made some sort of an impression on at least one little girl that whole time. She doesn’t go to our school during the school year, but maybe she’ll be back this coming summer. I hope she remembers me just as I remember her.

Today…

I really loved…nothing.

I DID NOT smile because…of sad stuff. And failure. 

Lyrics playing at this very moment as I type this portion of the blog:

No music.

Hours of sleep last night: I did not sleep. Kidding, I slept for 9-10 hours.

Times it got COLD today: Who really cares?

Friend of the day: A Tiffany and a Kendall--there should be more Tiffanys and Kendalls in the world.

--Jen................................