Okay diva, buckle in cause this is a doozy. There's so many layers this time around so let's start with looking back before we dive into today. This is the 9th letter you've written to yourself. 8 years since you were a senior in high school. It's so fun to look back, especially at all the old blog posts and see how much you've changed and grown but honestly how much you've stayed the same. I always think about how when I was blank age, I never would have imagined where I am now, which is more true than ever right now. But I think what's so special about that is I am able to grow and change without knowing it's coming or happening. That's how life happens, it doesn't tell you it just arrives and you go with it. And you hope that on that journey you keep with you what makes you special and you let go what holds you back. I know that I'm not at the perfect place quite yet but that's apart of the fun, always striving towards better.
It's really funny looking back on a year ago. It almost seems like that year didn't even happen, it was a blip and has been cut out all together. I love looking back though and looking at pictures and remembering. As much as in the moment I felt guilty and bad, I now miss those days and adventures. I think about how much I wasted certain opportunities and didn't take advantage of everything offered to me. Being stuck at home especially has made me realize once I am able to have those adventures again, I am enjoying them to the fullest extent possible.
But let's recap this past year. Since April 27, 2019, I was in Canada. I came home and watched 2019 graduate. I found my new place in a setting that was familiar but not the same. I accepted that this was a new time and that things were not gonna be the same. I found theatre and felt all the ups and downs. I went to the wedding which was such a beautiful impact of old and new. I travelled back to the places that felt like home. I grew my family. I watched relationships evolve and mature and grow. I came up with a plan. I got into grad school. My niece was born. And now I'm stuck at home for who knows how long.
As special as this past year has been the really defining features have been discovering what I'm here for and what my goals are for the future. The future doesn't look blurry anymore, I have clear path and set goal for what I want to do. And while I still want more than just that, I know that that's okay because now I have the time to plan for those too. And in the meantime, enjoy everything as much as I can.
Life has changed in such an unexpected way these past few months. I don't know when it's gonna end or where things are gonna go from here. While it's been challenging and difficult, I'm glad that I've been able to reconnect with those that are important to me and to the things that mean the most to me. It may be difficult now but I hope that you are able to look back at this strange time in life with some fondness. And most of all I hope that you are able to enjoy this year. That's really what this is all about. Enjoy life. Love others. Make the most of your time here. The rest falls into place. The rest will come and go. But you need to remember to enjoy every moment to it's fullest because you're definitely not getting younger. And even though I may not know exactly where you'll be in 2021 because of the world right now I know you'll be okay.
Stay safe. Smile lots. Send love.
Kendall (April 27, 2020)
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