My Youth is Yours

Hey guys!

Funny seeing me here again, huh? I know no one is reading, but that's alright. This whole blog started off as a way for Jen and I to connect. Actually, to be more exact, this blog started because I read Jen's bucket list and blogging was on it and I decided we could do it together. That was in 2009. Since then, a lot has happened and changed, as has this blog, but that's alright. At this point, this blog is more of my personal diary. From time to time I like to write and this is the place that I choose to do it. And even if Jen doesn't post anything ever, this is still something that will always hold memories. It gives us snapshots in the daily lives of our pasts and that's something that I will forever hold onto. So that's why I'm here, so one day in the future, and I want to know what was going on at this specific time in my life, I'll be able to see just that. 

Four years ago, in the month of February, Jen and I did a really cool thing. Everyday we gave a gift, because there were 29 days in the month and there was a book called 29 gifts so it just seemed so serendipitous. That whole month was great and I feel a great sense of pride for what we accomplished that month. Now, four years later, it's a leap year again with 29 days, again. I thought about doing it again. I thought about giving it another go and seeing what would happen. However, 17 days in, I'm here to tell you that I haven't done it. Now, I could go and blame that on a bunch of things. I'm too busy, I'm too poor, I'm too restricted, I'm not surrounded by the right people or environment. And whether or not those things are true, those aren't the real reason. The real reason is just me. I didn't do it. And that's not to say that I have changed or that I'm not a good person anymore or that I don't care about those things anymore, because that's not true, I do still care. This past summer was a testament to that.

I've spent the past 3 and a half years of my life, really trying to figure out me. Who I am as a person. What do I value. What do I want in life. What do I want to do with my life. How I want to spend my time. Who I want to surround myself with. And while I've gotten some of those answers to an extent, those are things I have to continue to figure out for myself. As I'm moving forward in life, and getting closer and closer to graduation and getting closer and closer to the real world, I have to remember what it was that got me to this point. What I did right. What I cared about. What good I did. 

In my month and a half of being back at school, I've had a lot of free time. More than I know what to do with. I feel restless. I can't wait to get out and to start my real life, but at the same time, I can't help but feel so so sad and nostalgic of what I'm leaving being, and I don't just mean here at UW. I mean my entire youth. I feel like graduating college is the final string to cut. It will completely cut off my youth and innocence. I'll be an adult, I'll be in the real world, and while yes that's scary, I think it's more sad to know that the past is just that, the past. It's with that mentality that I've been looking at relationships in my life. Every conversation I have with someone, I just think, this is finite. It's limited. Enjoy it while it lasts. And while it's important to make it mean something for yourself, make it mean something for them. I want to leave good memories with people. I want to leave happy thoughts. I want to touch their hearts in anyway I can. 

I'm sorry, I feel like this sounds really depressing, but I guess all of what I'm trying to say is that it's so so so so important to make the most of our time here. That's a saying that means the world to me. I have a long and exciting and happy and fun and amazing life ahead of me. And I'm so grateful and excited for that. But that doesn't mean that I should take today for granted. I plan to enjoy every moment. I plan to make every moment count. Because if every moment counts, then I can look back on what I've done and feel proud. Just like I feel proud of what I did four years ago. If I can do that, then I have nothing at all to worry about. 

Stay good, My Friends.
#ThreePeace

We've Got No Time for Getting Old; Mortal Body Timeless Soul

It's New Years Eve. Guys. 2015 is over. When did that happen. A lot happened this year and I don't even know. This year there was a lot of trial and error. I failed. Kind of a lot. But I also succeeded. Way more than I ever have. Literally, the most happened this year. I tore it up while I was at school this year. I taught classes this year. I felt the love of the SPO family more than ever. I went to Asia and had my first real international adventure and it was incredible. I started working for Disney and spent 4 month of my life at one of the most amazing places in the world. I became close to so many new and great people. The other day, I was thinking about what I'm doing when I get back to school and how I'm nervous about doing something new and I had THAT feeling inside me. But then I thought. Wait. This feeling is familiar. That's the feeling I felt when I went to Texas by myself Spring Break. That's the feeling I felt when I drove up to school in my fancy teacher clothes knowing that I was stepping foot on that familiar campus as something completely different than ever before. That's the feeling I felt when I got off the plane in Seoul. That's the feeling I felt when I got to Disney. That's the feeling I felt on my first day off training not knowing what to do. That's the feeling I felt going into a relationship for the first time. This year was completely full of fear and not knowing what's going to happen. So when I was thinking about the future and felt that feeling, I realized that I've gotten past that. New things can be scary. We can internalize that fear and let it consume us or we can use it. Let it empower us. New things are scary, but then they become familiar and comfortable. I'm ready for what's coming next. I may know less about what I'm doing then I did before. I may be an even bigger mess than ever before. I may have no clue where I'm going. But I'm ready. I'm ready for the unknown. I'm ready for the future.
Last year, I said 

"I know that this is cliche and it's what everyone says about every year, but 2015 is it. It's THE year. I don't know why yet, but I know. And I kind of have to too. If I think 2015 is going to be a crap year, am I really giving it a chance to be great? No. 2015 is going to be the year. My year. And I can't wait for it."

This is so true. 2015 was what I made of it and I made it the best. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. 2015 was THE year. But now, it's 2016's turn. And it will be THE year. Again. But better. So here's to whatever 2016 brings. Here's to the mess. Here's to the adventures. Here's to the ups and the downs and the food. I know this whole blog thing has kind of become extinct, but I find comfort knowing that this is here and it will continue to be here. So thank you fam. For this year. For every year before. And every year to come. 

<3 Kendall