Letter to Myself 2016

Well, it's that time of year again, time for the 5th annual letter to myself... 

Dear Kendall (April 27, 2017),

This is the 5th time I'm writing a letter to myself, that's crazy to me. Every year I go back and read over the previous letters and it's so funny to see the progress. But also, It's a good reminder of everything that happened that year. A common theme I talk about is change. I think that's something I'm weary of, I don't know, I'm scared of it, but also excited by it, but not excited enough to embrace it sometimes, you know? That's something that's changed this past year.

I can't help but find it hilarious that last's years letter was written on the day it was, it was the day a big part of my life changed, I realized that I still had to write the letter late that night and just laughed because I knew I wasn't in the right mindspace to write a letter, but I did it. But here I am, a year later and so much has changed and happened, that day seems like a different lifetime. This past year was easily the most insane, new, crazy, scary year of my life. I did so many new and exciting things. I taught, I went on a trip through Asia, I did the college program, I moved on my own, I got two new jobs, and so many things in between. And while I'm still not 100% sure where I'm going and that is something that scares me a lot, I think that it will be alright. 

Here I sit as a college senior and you are going to read this letter in a year, a year into this whole thing called adulthood. I don't know where you'll be. I don't know what you'll be doing. I don't know anything about 2017 Kendall and honestly, that's kind of exciting. There are so many possibilities for the future. You've spent the past 4 years perfecting who you are, it's time for you to go out into the world and be. Be the Kendall who've I've wanted to see spread his greatness throughout the world. Be the Kendall who will change lives and make magic and do good for those around you and those not. There's so many possibilities and opportunities, there's no way you can choose wrong. 

So as a Kendall who is a year younger, all I can ask of you is to do what's right and to have fun while doing it. As long as you keep that in mind this year, there's no way things can go wrong. Until next year.

Three Peace and Love,
Kendall (April 27, 2016)

The 11th of April

A small yellow and orange blown glass figurine of a lovebird--one of a pair--sits next to my Sharpies jar. A white book entitled "I THINK AM IN FRIEND-LOVE WITH YOU" leans against my alarm clock. A folded piece of blue construction paper showing "JEN" in bold letters, with a handwritten letter inside, is taped to the white wall, right underneath the light switch near my bedroom door. A small brown leather-bound notepad embossed with butterflies sit atop my copy of The Time Traveler's Wife, which holds between its pages a metal bookmark with intricate cutouts and a purple knot. And on the lower left corner of my desk, near where my left arm rests as I type on my laptop is a small picture--worn and old, it shows Norman Rockwell's painting, "High Dive," with the words "GOOD LUCK JEN! And don't foget (as if you could)...Just Jump!"

Hello old friends. 

My name is Jen, and Kendall is one of my best friends. For the past seven years, he has played a major part of my life. In high school, we served others and created moments and learned from each other. In college, we spent much of it apart as he went off to Seattle and I stayed home. We made mistakes and tried new adventures and forged new paths, separately but always side by side. Now, I am in Boston, finishing my first year of law school, and Kendall is on the other side of the continent, in Seattle, finishing his last year of college. Several months since we saw each other last, still, little mementos of his love litter my desk where I spend most of my time in my room. And no matter where life takes me next, I know I will have the same mementos follow me, guide me, watch over me--just as Kendall has and continues to do in a way only Kendall can, even from afar. 

Several days ago, after an especially grueling two weeks of memos due, final presentations, and oral arguments, I felt ready to quit it all. And in true Kendall fashion, with no questions asked and no details needed, I received a lengthy pep talk via text that made me smile inside and out. Words cannot describe how thankful I am to have this man in my life--Kendall, I have said this many a time, and I will continue to say it so long as it is true: you truly are all sorts of wonderful.

Today, is Kendall's birthday, a truly special day. And definitely one that warrants a comeback here in this blog where our best friendship started and something that, as Kendall said in his previous blog, will always hold our memories. Though I may no longer frequent this special place of ours, I still keep everything that we've had close to my heart. (And I do come back from time to time to see what he's up to!)

Kendall is not an outwardly affectionate person. People make him uncomfortable sometimes, talking is awkward and feelings are even worse. But never in the time I have known him have I ever doubted that he truly cares about his family, friends, mentors, loved ones. Because to him, his actions have always made his love obvious; there is never any need for him to vocalize them. He creates a family of sorts with the people he meets everywhere. He brings his own unique verve to everything he does. He is thoughtful, carefree, inquisitive, and always up for an adventure. 

Thank you, Kerms. Happy 22nd birthday! I love you, and three peace.