Dear Kendall (April 27, 2020),
*NOTE* I am writing this a week early because I'll be out of the country on the actual day so I jus want to make sure it gets done, I promise to get it right next year!
Okay. Wow. So many thoughts where to even start. I think I'm going to break this letter into 3 parts.
Part one. Reflection. Kendall. This is the eighth time that you have written a letter to yourself. I know you love reminding yourself of your accomplishments, but I think that's important. It's so important for you to remember that you have done great things and will continue to do so. Eight years you've been looking forward to the future and I think that this year is one of the most poignant. Which leads to...
Part two. We need to talk about this past year. That's so funny that you didn't know where you would be. I mean, it makes sense. But when I wrote last years letter feels SO long ago. And the fact that I didn't have plans past January and I was really just letting up to the universe to decide. And I think the funniest part is all of those things were somewhat true. I am very broke and somewhat homeless. I am somewhere else out in the world, Virginia. I am moving back home in two weeks (one week once this letter is out). And I have been traveling the world this whole year. This past year has been so important for so many reasons. Honestly so much has happened it really blows my mind. I think that the way I felt about home a year ago is important. It's important because that isn't how you felt when you first made the decision to leave. But then things changed. You got attached. You found your passion. Something that I didn't necessarily imagine would happen. Being away this year has showed me that. And while being at Disney was amazing and I know that it is a passion of mine, I just felt guilty being there. That's something that I've been struggling with all year, the guilt of what I'm doing is selfish and pointless. Why be here when I could be doing something important. Well, because I didn't know that it was important then. And now you do. Traveling the world has been amazing. Spending time with your family has been priceless. These are things that I always wanted to do and you go the chance to do it. And even though it was hard at times and didn't always feel right, I hope that you are able to look back at this year and just be happy. This was so special and you need to know that.
And now, part three. The future. Kendall, when you read this you will be newly 26. I have told myself that 25 will be different. It's the year that I grow up. The year that I start taking care of myself and those around me. The year that I dedicate myself to what's important. Now that doesn't mean I'm changing who I am or the person I am. But just what I choose to put my time and energy into. I need to make the most of my time here and that means taking care of me in every aspect possible. It's funny reading what I said about sabotaging myself. I kind of forgot about that idea. While it's kind of true, I see now that I wasn't trying to make my life harder, I was just trying to justify a decision that I was scared about. Kendall, I hope that it doesn't feel like you gave up. Yes you are going back to something familiar, but that is all the reason why this past year for you needs to be the best and hardest yet. You need to try. You need to take risks. You need to push yourself and grow and learn and evolve. You need to grow into the person who I know you can be. Don't be stagnate. Don't settle. This is the only time we get and it would be such a waste to let it go by. I don't know what this next year holds or how it will treat you. But at the end of the day you need to make the most of your time here. So have fun. Care for others. Smile. And never forget what it is that makes you you. Keep going. And see you soon.
Love forever and always,
Kendall (April 27, 2019)
